


Ever Connected

by Kasey



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasey/pseuds/Kasey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some stories just refuse to die. So we have to keep writing and writing about them. GSR will always be connected and this story is how...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

-1-

 

Sara Sidle grappled to open the door while holding on to the day’s mail and the Thai takeout she picked up for dinner.  Setting her keys down in the bowl on top of the small bookcase, she paused for a moment to look at an all too familiar picture – her husband.  _Crap_ , she muttered to herself.  When was she going to stop thinking of Grissom in that term?  Probably never she answered her subconscious.  She really wanted to though.  He had hurt her.  He seemed so callous during that life changing conversation.  He gave her little room to protest, to reply and fight like she had trained herself to do all her life. 

Yet she of all people knew that life did not always have a happy ending.  Life was messy.  Relationships were messy.  Catching ones dreams was like the tide rolling in and out.  Sometimes you could ride that wave and sometimes you would wipeout.  Nothing was certain.  Nothing it would seem was meant to last forever.

Oh how embarrassing it was when everyone found out about _her_ failure.  Yes she deemed it her own.  What good would it do to try to lay blame at his feet?  It would not provide any solace.  For in the end, the choice to extend her stay in Vegas, to buy the house, to move her mother closer was Sara’s decision.  Not that she hadn’t consulted Grissom or sought his approval.  She knew that his research meant so much to him so how could she ask him to stop? 

Sure he had left everything to follow her – to be _with_ her.  How could she ever deny how momentous that was not only for their relationship but for Grissom himself.  He had jumped off a metaphorical cliff for her by putting her before everything else.  No one had ever done that for her.  No one.

Sara loved the life that they were building together.  She had conquered so many ghosts after leaving Vegas.  She came to terms with the abuse of her childhood, her mother’s role in it and her father’s death.  She no longer felt like the walls were closing in on her or that death was stalking her.  She was in France with the man she adored waiting to do groundbreaking research.  She had it all.  She should have been happy.  Yet …

There was something gnawing at her.  Something she really hadn’t faced.  Growing older and feeling more secure within herself made Sara realize that avoidance was not the answer.  She had run from her problems, or to put it more succinctly, she left them in Vegas blaming the city for all her ills.  Her heart knew that wasn’t the case and she desperately wanted to prove that to her mind once and for all.

They had been back to the states after their wedding to visit both mothers.  Sara had suggested that they stop at the lab while they were in Vegas but Grissom did not see any reason for it.  His taking the plunge had apparently meant not looking back – at all.  Sara had tried to broach the subject once they were back in France of her wanting to possibly go back by herself in the near future, but she couldn’t seem to fit it in the conversation.  _Wow Pinella did not like that call did he oh and by the way I would like to go back to Vegas for a couple of weeks._   Yeah there never seemed to be the right moment.

Ecklie’s phone call was a Godsend for her.  Oh she knew he was really calling for Grissom but she couldn’t help suggesting herself as a temporary pinch hitter for the team.  She had to admit she was a bit shocked that Ecklie was so receptive to the idea since they hadn’t really gotten along that famously.  It was just the right segue that she needed to talk to Grissom and to his credit, he was supportive.

What was supposed to be a short term gig turned into a full time position.  Grissom could hear it in Sara’s voice and see it written on her face when he came to visit how fulfilled she seemed to be back with Nick, Greg and the rest of the team.  While he wanted her with him, he always simply wanted her to be happy.

And they were happy for quite a while.  It didn’t make sense to family and friends, but to Grissom and Sara their relationship transcended what was considered the norm.  It worked for them so let the critics be damned.

Sara was so sure and confident in their commitment that she started to re-establish roots in Vegas.  She had found the house on the internet but waited for Grissom so that they could do a walk through together.  It was the perfect blend of light and space and they both fell in love with it instantly.  He pretty much left the decorating to her but she had to hire someone to do it for her.  She was back to the maddening hours of a CSI and it helped to ease the loneliness she felt when Grissom was off on his own adventure.

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when things started to change.  A missed phone call here, a forgotten special day there.  They had promised each other that they would make their relationship the top priority.  There was even a discussion, howbeit brief one, of possibly adopting a child.  Then the walls started to shake and Sara knew nothing good ever came from that.

Moving her thoughts back to the present for a moment, Sara got up from the chair near the picture of Grissom she had been staring at.  The Thai food was room temperature so she went into the kitchen to warm it up a bit.  Putting everything into a bowl, she returned to the living room and sat back on the couch.  She wasn’t sure this trip down memory lane would make her feel any better, but she was also well aware that ignoring her feelings didn’t help things either.

She knew something was definitely up with Grissom about the time that her old flame Doug came to Vegas on a case.  He reminded her of a different time in her life.  Sara was by no means cavalier about sex but she was not a prude either.  Doug was someone who engaged her mind, made her laugh, was handsome.  They spend a lot of time together during that investigation, and from a friendship sprang a more intimate relationship.  No regrets when it ended – at least on Sara’s part.  But she couldn’t deny that seeing him again made her feel desirable.  He always did.

Commitment and her great love for Grissom kept her from doing anything that she would most surely regret with Doug.  Still the nagging feeling of walls crumbing were all around her.  She avoided Grissom’s phone call for as long as she could.  But she knew – before he even said it.

With the divorce papers spread out on the coffee table, Sara stopped eating and put her bowl down.  Their last face to face conversation came to mind.  He had called about a month after her birthday, after the horror she went through with Basderic, to pick up the remainder of his things.  She gave him the option of forwarding them to him but he elected to come and pick them up.  She thought it funny that he had rung the doorbell since it was his house still – sort of.  She gave him a quick smile and watched as he carried in two boxes and a duffle bag.  He has asked her if he could go into the bedroom and she thought that strange.  Nodding her head, he gave no reply and turned.  She followed him not knowing why.

“You look tired Sara,” Grissom said while putting his clothing in the duffle bag.  Sara folded her arms and leaned against the doorway.  “Work getting to you?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“No I would not.”  He moved into the master bathroom and gave a quick perusal but found nothing of his.  “I need to look in the study,” he said returning to the bedroom.  “You’re blocking my way.”  Sara didn’t budge.  He said her name much in the same way he always did when she said or did something that he found to be somewhat illogical.

“Aggravating isn’t it?  To want to do something, get somewhere but something is preventing you.”  Sara replied with very little emotion.

“Do you think that is what I am doing to you?”

“You are denying me the one person I have wanted for most of my life.”  Emotion was starting to creep into Sara’s words. 

“Sara please let me pass.  We both know that this is for the best.”  They looked in each other’s eyes but Sara could not read what he was thinking.  How odd that seemed to her since she used to be able to.  She bowed her head and moved away from the door and walked down the hall.  Grissom followed and stopped at the case that kept his rare books.  He went to fetch them and put them into one of the boxes but stopped as he heard something drop into the other box.  It was small making hardly a sound but he could feel it.

“You should take that with you.  I don’t know why I wore it.  Silly how I thought that made us still as one.”  Sara looked away.  “But I see you’ve stopped wearing yours.”

“It was a mistake coming here.  I’m sorry.”  He picked up the boxes and his bag and started for the door.

“What about your precious books Gil?”  Grissom did not reply as he closed the door behind him.  He walked to his car as a small tear fell down his cheek.

 

TBC

 

Author’s Note:  After the 300th episode and the ending with Sara’s name under Grissom’s, I felt the need to write down my take on things.  I know some will not agree with everything I write and that’s cool.   Not sure how many chapters this will be but I felt I had more to say.  Please leave a review.  Thanks…

 


	2. Chapter Two

-2-

 

Grissom had spent the better part of the last six months working with the CDC and the WHO.  They had sought out his entomological expertise for a less costly way of dealing with Chagas Disease, a disease transmitted by the bite of the commonly known “kissing bug”.  It was important work.  Work that held great satisfaction for Grissom as a scientist and as a human being. 

Since becoming affiliated with the World Health Organization, Grissom felt a renewed vitality to his work.  A vitality that he hadn’t truly felt in many years.  Of course all the time spent as a crime scene investigator brought him great satisfaction, but there were aspects of the job that he never wanted to participate in.  The politics, the schmoozing for funding, the rules – yeah damn those rules.

Working as a primarily independent scientist meant that Grissom was not bogged down by such things.  Sure there were grants to apply for requiring specific papers and scientific studies, but they were in no way near the roadblocks that he faced in Vegas.  And right from the start, he could work with his wife – side by side, together, always.

Sara.  Grissom wasn’t sure if there ever was a name in the world that provoked so many mixed emotions for him.  Jesus might be rightly characterized as the most controversial name in world’s history, but in Grissom’s world it was her name. 

He wasn’t kidding that day when he told Ecklie that there had been a relationship between them for nine years.  To Grissom, the moment he saw her, he knew his life would never be the same.  A scientist does not believe in such trivial emotional responses as love at first sight, but Grissom could not shake the fact that something changed in him the day he first met Sara Sidle.

Now he was driving in a rented car from McCarran past the street that lead to his old life, his soon to be ex-wife, and onto his mother’s house.   He hadn’t seen her in three months and while she was still spry, he did not want to let too much time go by between visits.  Besides he was hoping that Sara had finally signed the divorce papers and forwarded them to his attorney.  Since he spent so much time out of the country and no longer having any permanent residence in the States, he listed his mother’s address for mail purposes.

Spending relaxing time with his mother was getting harder and harder lately.  At first she simply would not embrace Sara as his wife.  One plant had not taken away all the bad feelings between them.  It took some time but after Sara started taking Betty to dinner frequently, they became close.  Grissom would join them when he was in town.  It was hard to tell his mother that he had filed for divorce.  To his amazement, even though Sara had seen his mother since their talk, she hadn’t told Betty.

Betty Grissom loved her only child but she was also fully aware of the idiosyncrasies that made up her son.  She was surprised at how well Sara had fit into Gil Grissom’s world.  It was due to those two facts that made Grissom’s filing for divorce hard for her to understand.  She tried to broach the subject every chance she got, but even a formidable woman as Betty could not pull out of Grissom what his reasons really were.

Grissom had not been able to get half of his meal eaten before Betty began her usual questioning.  Meals used to be quiet time for them as signing was difficult while eating.  But Betty seemed not to be hungry that evening so her hands were willing and available.  Grissom was as polite as he could be when he cut her off.  Signing that he would clean up the kitchen later, he grabbed his coat and keys and left. 

Grissom had no clue where he was going when he hopped into the rental.  Vegas just was not Vegas anymore for him.  There was no appeal to gamble or stroll down the strip.  There was no one he particularly wanted to see truth be told. There just wasn’t anything there for him any longer. 

He drove around for a while and was surprised that the car seemed to steer itself down that particular street.  He pulled up to the house and shut off the engine.  He didn’t know why he was there really and wasn’t sure if he should try to knock on the door.  It had been such a long time since they had seen each other or even corresponded.  What could they possibly say to one another?

It was such a quiet street.  Grissom thought he might simply sit outside the house in serene reflection.  Yet surprisingly he longed for conversation all of a sudden.  Conversation from someone who might be able to put a fresh perspective on things.  He decided to stop hemming and hawing and went up to the door.  He rang the bell and at first there seemed to be no one home.  He was about to turn around when the door opened.

“Gil?”

“I didn’t interrupt anything did I?”  Grissom asked as he was led into the hallway.  A dismissive wave of the hand greeted his question.  He was then led into the den.

“Can I get you something to drink? Scotch?”  Grissom nodded as he removed his coat and sat down.  The den was surprisingly warm in rich mahogany tones.  Grissom noted that aside from a few additional pictures that the room hadn’t changed since he was last there more than five years ago.

“You don’t seem surprised to see me,” Grissom said as he took his drink.

“I had a feeling you would eventually make an appearance,” Jim Brass said sitting down across from Grissom.  “You look good.  Tan.  Lost a bit of weight.”

“Why Jim surprised you noticed.”

“Divorce agrees with you.”  Ah, there’s the snark.  Typical Brass – not one to hold his punches.

“I guess Sara filled you in,” Grissom half said, half asked.  Brass sensed some bitterness in Grissom’s voice and he wasn’t in the mood for it.

“Well she didn’t sky write it above the lab if that’s what you’re talking about.  In fact, she said nothing until she was forced to when that idiot Basderic came after her.”

“Basderic?”  Grissom looked shocked.

“That’s your problem.  You two don’t talk,” Brass said getting up and pouring another shot.  “Or you don’t listen.  Either way how you both manage to muck things up is tragic.” 

“Well,” Grissom started to speak but then decided to polish off his drink first.  He set the glass down on the table and said, “I wasn’t sure why I came here but regardless I can see it was a mistake.  Thanks for the drink Jim.”  Grissom stood up and grabbed his coat.  He was walking to the door when Brass spoke.

“I lost the only woman I ever loved more than fifteen years ago when I was dumb enough to divorce her.  Always thought there would be a day when we would reconnect.  A cop is not trained to have dreams, especially pipe ones.  But the horrors of the job you see almost daily don’t wipe out hope completely.  Creeps back in now and again.  Starts ya thinking.  Damn fool thing to do.”

“You survived it Jim,” Grissom replied standing at the doorway.  “Divorce wasn’t the end of your life.”  Brass mumbled something and Grissom asked him to repeat what he had said.

“Her death was.”  Grissom’s eyes widened.  He didn’t know about Brass’ ex-wife or what had happened with Ellie.  He had removed himself almost entirely from anything or anyone associated with Vegas months before.  Grissom walked back to the chair and sat down, hoping that would encourage Brass to continue talking.

Brass poured out his heart over the next couple of drinks.  Grissom finally brought the bottle over so he didn’t need to keep getting up.   It almost felt like old times only Brass was more reflective, more open, more broken than Grissom had ever seen him.  He hurt for his friend.  And he was scared – for his friend and for himself.  All his life, Grissom felt that he needed nothing except his work.  He fought Sara for so long because he did not think he could ever change enough to give what he knew she needed.  What he felt she deserved from him.

Brass grew silent.  He felt spent with the little he divulged about his life in Jersey, the fights, the affairs, the raw emotions.  “You know the night before we found Morgan and Ellie, Nancy and I were sitting outside and we had one of the best talks we ever had.  We both admitted things that could have saved us so much heartache if we had only said those words years ago.”

“Hindsight,” Grissom said softly.  Brass nodded his head and then handed his glass to Grissom.  Grissom retrieved the bottle from the floor and poured another shot. 

“So, why did _you_ file for divorce?”  Grissom put his head down.  “You’re having an affair?  You suspect her of having one?  You’re dying and you don’t want her to suffer?  You’re just an idiot?”

“I’m not having an affair and so far so good health wise.”

“Okay so you’re just an idiot.  I’ve thought that for years.”  Grissom groaned.  “Come on man tell me what happened.”

“You know when she left Vegas the first time, she wrote me a letter telling me that she felt like she had loved me forever.  I related to that so well.  Intrigued, captivated – she kept me on my toes.  I fought it for so long but I just couldn’t deny myself any longer.  And then she was gone.”

“You understood why she had to leave right?”  Brass asked non judgmentally.

“It was hard but yes I understood what she needed to do.  When Warrick died, I asked her to stay but she couldn’t.  Vegas represented death to her.  I thought at that time that I did too.”

“But you finally got your head out of your ass and went after her.”

“You were so much more eloquent when you were talking about your life.”

“It comes and goes,” Brass replied and then motioned for him to continue. 

“Yes I got it together and went after her.  It was not what I had expected.  It was so much more.  There was a part of me that was missing for so long and I didn’t even know it.  But putting that ring on her finger just made everything complete.”

“So then what happened?  We were all shocked that she came back to work, and we all wondered if you two could survive the distance.  She seemed so happy and you two aren’t exactly normal.”  Grissom raised an eyebrow.  “But it made sense that she needed to come back here and face what you said represented death to her.”

“Yes she did and that was why I was supportive of her.  And at first it worked.  I missed her but we’ve both been tenacious about our work so at times it wasn’t a big deal that we weren’t physically together all the time.  Then I guess I went back to my old ways and started missing her calls.  Forgetting special days.  Two months turned into three and I hadn’t made a trip home.”

“It sounds like you wanted to bail.”

“Do you know how hard it was to hear her voice?”  Grissom voiced started to rise.  “She always sounded so happy, so fulfilled.  I wanted her to find closure but I never expected her to find a way to live without me.”

“You’re full of bat guano you know that?”

“Bat guano?” Grissom replied with one of his signature raised eyebrow.

“Reading a book on refinement,” Brass replied as Grissom rolled his eyes.  “Seriously Gil, she wasn’t finding a life without you.  I think she finally allowed herself to be happy because she got what she wanted – you.  Taking yourself out of the equation sure didn’t make her happy.”  Grissom pondered Brass’ words for a moment and then asked Brass if he thought Sara was happy now.

“Resigned – yes.  Happy – no.”

“She has the guys though right?  I’m sure Greg has been there for her.” 

“Yes as much as he can,” Brass replied.  “But Greg’s been spending time with Morgan.”  Grissom looked curiously at Brass until Jim reminded him who Morgan was.

“Oh yeah David Hodges actually wrote me an email about her a while back.  What about this DB? Sara did mention that the new supervisor was a kindred spirit to her.  She said she felt pretty close to him.”  Brass chuckled.

“You think she has a thing for supervisors?  She would beat you down if she heard you say that.”  Grissom nodded in acquiescence.  “No actually she and Nick have been spending a lot of time together apparently.”

“Nick huh?”

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

-3-

 

Sara had just finished vacuuming when she heard the dryer buzz.  It was Sunday and lately that meant two things – house work and football.  It was a little ritual she and Nick had started, although neither had planned it to be.  After Sara had talked with Nick and Greg about her marital problems, Nick made it a point to call her more often, or invite her to grab a bite to eat.  At first she didn’t know how to react to what she perceived to be pity, though thoroughly chaste, dates.  It wasn’t long before she began to look forward to them and even planned a couple.

She couldn’t remember when it turned into a weekly thing.  Maybe it was around the start of football season.  Nick had brought over a DVD he rented from Movie Gallery and they had sat down to watch it.  It was the western _Shane_ and although the packaging and the outside of the DVD itself read the correct title, when the movie started it clearly was not a western.  Four minutes into the movie, a red faced Nick Stokes leapt up to shut off the DVD player with Sara almost falling off the couch in hysterics.

Sara spent a long time that day convincing Nick that he should not feel embarrassed and that he should stay.  She finally handed him the remote to the TV and told him to pick something for them to watch.  She then went into the kitchen and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave.  Returning to the den with the popcorn and a couple of beers, she was greeted with Nick throwing his arms up and whooping at ‘his’ football team scoring a touchdown.  When the extra point was made, Nick suggested that they could watch something else if she didn’t like football.  Sara had told him that she didn’t mind and actually enjoyed watching on occasion.

From that day it took on a life of its own.  The week was often so demanding for both of them that it was nice to kick back and relax.  They almost exclusively spent the day at Sara’s house for no other reason than Nick preferred that she wasn’t the one that needed to drive home.  Sara found that endearing even though she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. 

Nick was nothing if not punctual and arrived with beer and pizza in hand.  He had brought a cheese for her and a loaded one for himself.  She brought out plates and napkins after she had put the rest of the beer in the fridge.  They sat down, he on the couch and she in the chair and ate.  Sara inquired what games were playing that day, knowing that Nick usually preferred to watch the Cowboys.  He told her that his team had already played Minnesota so they had a choice of either Seattle/Tampa Bay or Steelers/Patriots.  Sara said she wanted to watch the Seattle game in deference to DB and Finn.

They usually picked opposing teams to root for and a small wager was made for each game.  Usually it was a buck or two but they enjoyed trying to outdo the previous week’s victory dance.  After acquiring the stats on the teams, Sara felt certain that Seattle would win and that victory was hers.  Nick pretended to pout at her claim but silently he was glad that she seemed upbeat.

She had told him about the divorce papers arriving, and though he tried to discuss them with her, she quickly changed the subject.  In Nick’s mind, Sara had simply given up and was moving on.  He originally thought that was for the best but he knew how lonely life could be. 

“I like seeing your smile Sara,” he said strongly. 

“What you don’t like my signature ‘pissed at the world’ look?”

“Only when it’s directed at me,” he replied with his own smile.  Sara turned her eyes back to the game but Nick’s eyes stayed on her.  Memories came flooding to mind.  The first day they met and all the chaos that surrounded the lab with Holly and Warrick.  They were all so different then.  He wouldn’t admit this to anyone but he had a slight, slight crush on her.  Not a Greg Sanders crush mind you but just a little one.  She might have come to Vegas under strained circumstances, but it wasn’t long before she became just one of the guys. 

They had seen a lot over the years in their work.  They had both been victims themselves.  They had mourned the loss of a dear friend together.  They had seen colleagues come and go.  Yet here they were watching a football game and it felt right.  It felt comfortable.  It felt like they were a married couple. 

_Wait_ – did he just think that?  Nick turned away.  Why had that thought even entered into his mind?  Must be just the beer talking.  Yet still, something about their spending time together always felt so right – but so wrong at the same time.  It was wrong for him to think that way wasn’t it?  He quickly got up and excused himself to use the rest room.

Sara watched him go and noticed how strange he seemed to have become all of a sudden.  She loved Nick but she knew that sometimes he could obsess over things as much as she did.  When he returned, she asked him if everything was okay.  Nick sat back down on the couch facing the television, leaning his head back on the arm rest. Sara asked him again.

“I was just thinking how nice it is to spend Sundays with you,” he replied after a bit.

“Me too.  This is a great way to unwind after a tough week.”  Sara returned to the TV but she sensed that Nick wanted to say more.  “What else is on your mind Nick?”

“Nothing.  That was it,” he lied. 

“I thought one of the rules was that we had to tell each other when something was bothering us.”

“We have rules?” Nick turned his head to see her.

“Did you or did you not tell me daily for weeks that I needed to talk when something  happened and not keep it in like I did with Grissom?”  Nick turned his head back and conceded.  He tried to think of what to say, not because he didn’t want to say it, but because he didn’t know how to approach these newly risen feelings.  He had never thought of Sara in terms of a relationship in any other way but as friends before.  For the words marriage, Sara, him, couple to string into sentences together in his mind – well he didn’t know where they came from.

“I’m just trying to figure out how to say it,” Nick replied frustrated.  “Oh man how do I make this not sound like we’re teenagers?  Okay have you ever –,“ he stopped.

“Yes.”

“I mean have you ever thought about you and me –.“  She stopped him.

“The answer is yes Nick.  Sure I have.  We have things in common.  We can relate to each other on similar levels.”

“I know I feel comfortable when I am around you,” Nick said sitting up.

“You found me out in the desert,” she replied sweetly.

“You figured out which nursery I was buried in.”  Sara bowed her head.  “You stuck by me when I had to find little Cassie.”

“You never doubted me with that Basderic mess.”

“I did tell him that I would never let him hurt you.”  Sara told him she knew.  “I meant that Sara.  I would do anything to keep you safe.”  Sara leaned over and grabbed his hand.

“Because you promised Grissom.”  Nick jerked his head up.  “Yeah I know that he emailed you and asked you to look out for me when I came back here.”

“I didn’t do it just for Grissom Sara.”

“I know.”  They sat in silence for a while still holding hands.  Sara thought about the connection she had to Nick.  They could name countless of times in the last thirteen years when they were there for each other in one way or another.  Even when they disagreed and fierce debates arose, they still ended the day with a word or two of forgiveness.  She wondered out loud why this connection with Nick was sometime easier than the one she shared to Grissom.

“Not the same things at stake I suppose,” Nick replied leaning back.  He let go of her hand and put it on her back making circular motions.  “I’m your friend, even like a brother.  If I walked out that door and we never saw each other, we would be sad but we would always know there was and is a bond.  We’d miss each other but we could go on.”

“I’ve got to go on Nick.  There isn’t anything else to do,” Sara said sadly.  Nick told her to give it some more time.  “Yeah but with the divorce papers staring me in the face, Nick he’s serious.”

“He’s a fool Sara.”

“You don’t mean that Nick.  This has been just as much my fault as his.  I don’t know what possessed me to think that our relationship could survive me coming back here.  I mean isn’t that what a wife does?   Follow her husband?  He gave up everything for me so I need to do the same.”  Nick leaned forward to look her in the eyes.

“Sara a relationship is not tit for tat.  Sure there’s compromise but it has to be mutually agreed upon and mutually satisfactory for it to truly work out.  You cannot stop being who you are.  And I think you did that years ago.”  Sara gave him a slight smile.  She knew his words were true but she wasn’t sure that they were giving her any peace.  Every road was leading to her signing the papers and chalking it up to a lesson learned.

The game finished with Seattle winning but neither was paying much attention.  Nick silently berated himself for starting the conversation that quickly turned too serious and too sad for her.  He asked if she wanted to watch something else but she begged off saying she wanted to get some sleep.  He helped her clean up the pizza and beer cans and then he went to the front door.  She handed him his coat, and he gave her a hug.  He then touched his fist to his heart and tapped it.

“I love you too Nick.”  He smiled and left.  As he walked to his car, he saw something down the street in the shadows.  He thought he saw something or someone but it was so still.  Focusing his eyes a bit, a figure began to appear.  It looked like a man.  It looked like Grissom.  _But that couldn’t be_ , Nick thought to himself since Grissom was somewhere in South America.  Besides Grissom wouldn’t be standing down the street of Sara’s house.  Would he? 

Nick yelled to the figure, who then turned and briskly headed down the side street.  Sara, hearing Nick, came out of the house and asked Nick what was going on.  “I thought I saw something or someone on the corner of Ocean Street.”

“Should we take a look?”  She asked.  He shook his head no.  “Was it an animal or was it a person?  Man or Woman?”  Nick kept looking down toward the street. 

“Well what do you think you saw?”

“A ghost,” Nick relied and then quickly dismissed it.  He said good-bye to her again and then got into his car.

 

TBC

 

 


	4. Chapter Four

 

-4-

 

Brass was sitting at the diner on his day off.  He was finding it increasingly difficult to find other things to occupy his time besides work and mulling over where he had gone wrong with this daughter.  He really wished he had picked up some sort of hobby along the way.  He just didn’t think he would ever need to.  There was always something exciting about the job to look forward to or go back to.  How things change.

Hearing the ding of the door, Brass looked up to see Nick Stokes enter and place an order at the counter.  When Nick turned to look around, Brass saluted him with his coffee mug.  Nick waited for his order and then joined Brass at his table. 

“How’s it going Jim?”  Nick asked taking his bran muffin out of the bag and breaking it in half.  He then mentioned his surprise at seeing Brass at the diner on his day off.

“Thought I go in and tackle some of the backlog of paperwork.  Conrad has been very understanding but I don’t want to take advantage.”

“You’ve done your share for so long Jim.  I was surprised when Crawford told me that you changed up your schedule.”  Brass sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ve been taking some weekends to give the guys that have families time to spend with them.  Not a big deal.” 

“You have family too Jim.  You know you are always welcome to come over and watch the football game with Sara and I,” Nick said finishing up his muffin. 

“You and Sara huh?”  Brass smiled.  Nick shot him a dirty look. 

“It’s not how it sounds.  I care about Sara.  I’m closer to her than I’ve been to any of my sisters.  She’s special.”  Brass agreed.  “She doesn’t deserve what has happened in her life, and I just want her to be happy.”

“That’s what he said,” Brass replied.  Nick’s head shot up and asked Brass what he was referring to.  Brass told him he meant nothing by it but Nick wasn’t buying it.

“Sounds like you spoke to Grissom.  He’s in Vegas isn’t he?”  Nick started to get up before Brass was able to respond.  “I thought I was seeing things but it was him.  Son of a bitch!”  Nick practically ran out of the diner.  Brass heard the screech of the tires as Nick sped off.  He knew he really shouldn’t have said anything but Jim Brass was slowly coming to the realization that if you didn’t help life straighten itself out, then it would remain perpetually crooked. 

 

Nick sped off so fast from the diner that he wasn’t even sure where he was going.  Should he just go to the lab as he first intended to do before he stopped at the diner?  Should he go over to Sara’s and tell her?  Did he want to do that?  Would it mean anything to her to know that Grissom was in town and that Nick was sure he was outside her house on Sunday? 

Nick had done a lot of thinking the past two days about his relationship with Sara.  He concluded that they were much better off remaining friends then to ever try to make it into something that hadn’t already happened naturally.  And while he didn’t want to stand in the way of her and Grissom getting back together, he did not want to see her hurt any more than she had already been.

No, he decided he wasn’t going to say anything to Sara until he had time to find out where Grissom was and have a little chat with him.  He placed a call to information to get the phone number and address of Betty Grissom.  According to Sara, Grissom hadn’t rented or purchased any place in Vegas so logic dictated that he would stay with his mother rather than a hotel where he could be seen by someone from the department.

Driving to Betty’s house, Nick mulled over what he wanted to say to Grissom.  He knew that Grissom’s first line of defense would be to tell Nick it was none of his business.  There was a time when that alone would make Nick back off, but not now.  It wasn’t that Nick had lost respect from his old supervisor, although he wasn’t too thrilled with the man at present.  He just never understood why Grissom was so tight lipped when it came to his and Sara’s relationship.  It was almost as if he was embarrassed by it.

Everyone had known that there was a “relationship” between Sara and Grissom that had started back in San Francisco.  He remembered a couple of conversations with Catherine and Warrick trying to figure out what their connection was.  At first it seemed romantic especially from the way Sara looked at him when she didn’t think anyone could see.  But Grissom was so hard to read.  He acted like her mentor the majority of the time, but there were moments when he acted like a star struck kid.

Then came Hank into Sara’s life and she seemed happy with that relationship.  She used to talk to Nick and Warrick about it.  Nothing one would consider intimate, but just friends discussing their perspective relationships.  It took a great deal of restraint on the part of both Nick and Warrick not to go after Hank when they found out Hank had a fiancé.  Nick recalled Sara retreating somewhat after that.  Oh she still hung out with them from time to time, but the enduring sadness in her eyes grew.

He knew that the rumors about Grissom and Heather Kessler bothered Sara.  Because Grissom was so guarded about his personal life, the gossip was unbearable.  People tend to make up things more profoundly when they do not have solid evidence yea or nay.  It seemed that you couldn’t go ten feet in the lab or over at the police station without someone commenting on it.  

Then the DUI happened.  It wasn’t until recently that Sara had told him about the conversation Grissom had with that alleged murderer Lurie.  She had said that it was at that moment she assumed they would never be together.  That she was as doomed as her mother was.  So she drank to try to take that feeling away.

She took some time off after that and then so much started to happen in the lab.  Greg making CSI, the team being split up – Nick kind of lost track of Sara for such a long time it seemed.  It was only after his abduction and the team reuniting that they reconnected.  It was also at that time he saw something different about Sara.  Her sadness did not seem as pronounced as it once was. 

Both Brass and Greg had said that they had known about Grissom and Sara’s relationship.  Brass stating that he had put two and two together by the way they would act when no one was looking.  There was nothing inappropriate, just little hints that their relationship had taken a different turn.  Greg had said it was obvious to him, but neither Nick nor Warrick believed that Greg was telling the total truth about his knowledge of the relationship.

One thing for sure though was that everyone was devastated when Sara was taken by Natalie Davis, and even more so when she simply left Vegas.  While Nick tried to sympathize with Grissom, he was mourning her leaving too.  Then when she came back, he was overjoyed.  More so when she kept extending her stay there.

Pulling up to Betty’s house, Nick spotted Grissom coming out of the garage with a pair of pruning shears.  Nick parked but did not exit his vehicle for a while.  He observed Grissom cutting the bushes that were aligned on the left side of the house.  Such a domestic chore that it made Nick smirk at the sight.  He gave it a couple more minutes and then got out of his car.  Grissom looked up when he heard the door slam. 

“Hey Grissom,” Nick yelled.  He chuckled at the deer caught in headlights look Grissom was giving him.  “Surprised to see me?”

“I didn’t think anyone knew I was in town.”

“Well stalking outside your wife’s – ex wi – whatever she is to you wasn’t the brightest way to go unnoticed,” Nick replied walking up the driveway.  “Why were you there?”

“I wanted to check on her,” Grissom replied walking back to the bush he was working on.  “I saw the car in the driveway and knew someone else was doing that.”  Nick laughed.

“You are out of practice my friend with your investigative skills.  Why didn’t you just pull into the driveway first of all and then well I don’t know ring the doorbell?”

“I told you I saw that she wasn’t alone,” Grissom replied sounding angry.

“Afraid she’s moved on?”  Grissom didn’t reply.  “You really think that little of her?”

“Of course not.  My feelings for Sara have not changed.”

“And what are those feelings Griss?  I mean I get that you’ve been this emotionally cutoff man for the majority of your life but I thought you worked through that when you went after her.”

“Nick this is really none of your business,” Grissom said walking to the garage.  He was no longer in the mood for gardening or talking for that matter.

“She’s my friend.  I care about her.  I care about you too.”

“Friend huh?”  Grissom asked with a touch of sarcasm.  Nick asked him what he meant by that.  “Your reactions seem to indicate someone who feels more than just a friendship with Sara.”

“You have got to freakin’ kidding me.”  Nick threw up his hands.  “Age has not made you any wiser Grissom but I will tell you this.  As I told that psycho Basderic, I won’t let you hurt her.  End of discussion.”  Nick turned and started walking to his car.  He made it to the driver side door when a familiar car pulled up behind him.

“Sara?”

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter Five

 

 

-5-

 

“What are you doing here?” Nick asked as Sara walked over to his car.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied.  She turned to look up the driveway and was met with blue eyes piercing right through her.  “Gil?”  She asked looking back and forth between Grissom and Nick.  She was starting to shake and Nick tried to grab her hand.  She jerked it away and kept going from one face to the other.

“Sara I can explain,” Nick said trying to keep her attention.  “Grissom was the person I saw at your house the other night.”

“So you lied to me?”

“No, no.  I wasn’t sure.  I, I didn’t realize he was in town.  I really thought I saw a ghost.  Then I talked to Brass.”  Nick let out a large sigh.  “I was going to tell you but I wanted to talk to him.”

“Why did _you_ come here Sara?” Grissom asked strongly.  Sara whipped her head around to face him.

“Lunch with your mother.  We do it once a month.  Normally on Tuesdays but I worked over so I switched it to today.”

“I thought you would have cut that out with the way things are,” Grissom said snidely.  He moved in closer but still maintained a safe distance from Sara.

“I generally don’t discard people out of my life quite as easy as you do,” Sara replied.

“You know maybe we shouldn’t do this right now,” Nick suggested.  Sara whipped her head around to glare at him.

“When would be a better time Nick?  What’s the protocol for discussing the finalization of a marriage?  Oh wait, maybe I should call Gil on my phone since that’s his way.”  She turned her attention back to Grissom and caught the roll of his eyes.

“I asked you to come down.  You were the one who said you couldn’t.  I didn’t think it was prudent to drag out the cold harsh reality of the inevitable,” Grissom said calmly.  Too calmly.

“What inevitable?  God Gil if you would for once stop talking in some type of cryptic haiku then maybe things would be different,” Sara said feeling the rage move from her heart into her throat.

“I don’t think it is fair to blame everything on me.”

“You bailed on our marriage!”  Sara took a step forward.

“You bailed on me five years ago in Vegas – TWICE!” Grissom yelled.  Nick watched as Grissom’s fists started to ball up.  He positioned his weight in such a way as to offer a physical buffer between the two of them.

“You said you understood,” Sara replied with a slight catch in her throat.

“I did.   I tried everything to make you happy.  I left Vegas.  I followed you.  I married you.  You just want and want.  Nothing is ever good enough for you.”

“You know no one forced you to come after me.  No one forced you to marry me.  You’ve made sure to remind me of your many sacrifices for the last five years Gil and I’m sick of it.”  Sara started to pace back and forth.  “We’ve been in this push – pull relationship ever since San Francisco.  You’d give an inch and expect a mile.  Of course I dutifully agreed.  I was in love with you.  I adored you.”

“That has sure changed,” Grissom said with a slight hint of sadness.

“No Gil that’s where you are wrong.  I never stopped loving you.  I never stopped adoring you.  I just couldn’t live up to what you expected me to be.”  Sara shook her head and then turned to walk away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Grissom yelled.  Sara didn’t reply as she walked to her car.  She turned around and looked at Grissom sadly.

“I’ll sign the papers and send them over.  Tell your mother I’m sorry about today.”  Sara got into her car and drove away.  Both Grissom and Nick watched her leave.  Nick thought about following her as he leaned back against his car.  Grissom was blindly walking as he watched her rear lights get smaller in the distance.

“Should you go after her?” he asked as he leaned against Nick’s car.

“I’ll talk to her later.  Give her some time to cool off.”  Nick folded his arms as he watched Grissom.  “You don’t look like a man who has just gotten what he wanted.”

“Maybe I’m not Nick,” Grissom said rubbing his hands together. 

“Then why did you file for divorce?”

“Because I thought it was the best thing for her.  For me.  For us.”

“Griss no one would deny that you are a very smart man, genius even.  But you are clueless when it comes to feelings.  I think it’s because you falsely assume you can “think” a feeling.”

“I am not that emotionally stunted Nick,” Grissom replied sadly.

“I think you are.”  Grissom clenched his jaw.  “Hey man I’m not saying it to offend you.  It’s an observation from seeing you two interact.”

“Yes thank you Nick for your insight.  Remind me why you couldn’t have left when she showed up?”

“Believe me I would have if I could.  For one thing Sara’s car was blocking me.  Then there was the unshakable curiosity to watch you two.”

“You’ve seen us talk before Nick.  You’ve even seen us fight before,” Grissom said turning around and leaning back against the passenger door.

“Yeah sure as colleagues or as friends but never as a couple.  I remember even when we had that picnic before Warrick died and Sara left.  I mean we all knew what she meant to you by then.  It was odd to see you act no differently towards her than you usually did.”

“I’m not good with showing things like that in public.”  Nick shook his head in understanding.

“Well at least I hope you showed it to her in private.”

“I thought I did,” Grissom said dejectedly.  “I thought I accepted her for who she was also.”

“Something tells me you’re thinking differently now.”  Grissom shrugged his shoulders.  “You know Grissom you can take what I’m about to say any way you want.  But I know Sara’s not happy without you and you don’t seem to be either, so I guess you need to ask yourself how can you change that?”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Only you can answer that,” Nick replied.  He touched Grissom’s shoulder briefly and then walked around to the driver’s side of his car.  “Stop analyzing and start feeling.  What does your heart say?”

“Never let her go,” Grissom replied quickly.  Nick smiled and nodded.

“By George I think he’s got it,” Nick said as he got into his car.  He backed out of the driveway and waved at Grissom as he drove away.  Out of the rearview mirror, he saw Grissom stand there for a bit and then head over to the front porch. 

Things certainly hadn’t gone as Nick had planned.  He obviously never expected to witness a Grissom/Sara fight.  He ached for both of them as their hurt was so visible it was as if it clouded the air around them.  He knew he needed to talk to Sara at some point but he was himself a bit emotionally drained.

Grissom walked into his mother’s house and signed to her that Sara was not going to be able to join her for lunch.  Betty asked if everything was alright.  Grissom did not know what to say.  He told her he wasn’t sure.  To him that was the most honest answer he could give.  He knew that he needed to do something, but he wasn’t sure he could actually do anything.  The old adage about teaching old dogs knew tricks sprang to mind. 

Maybe he could extend his vacation for a couple of weeks – stick around Vegas and try having an in person, civilized conversation with Sara.  That could be a start.

 

Sara walked up the gravel way to the front door.  She knocked hesitantly, not sure she should have gone there.  She was about to head back to her car when the door opened.  “Sara, come on in,” Barbara Russell said. 

“I hope I’m not bothering you.  I know I should have called.”

“Not at all.  I was about to go to the movies with one of the ladies from my book club.  I’ll get DB.  Make yourself comfortable.”  Barbara showed Sara into the living room and then went to find her husband. 

“Sara,” DB said jarring her.  She got up but he motioned for her to sit back down.

“I’m not sure why I came here,” she said.  DB noticed that she looked upset and told her that she did the right thing in coming to see him and that he had previously told her that she could always do that.

“I know and I’m grateful,” she replied and then took a deep breath.  “You have a good marriage right?”  DB looked at her as he sat back.

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter Six

-6-

 

“All things considered, yes I have a good marriage.  But Sara no two marriages are alike.”  DB crossed his legs. 

“I just wish I knew why Gil and I couldn’t make it.  What went so wrong?” Sara asked.

“I could throw out a bunch of words like commitment, compromise, respect, listening – all the ones that hit the ‘what makes marriage work’ bulls eye.  But in the end, they are just words.  You have to look inside.  What is your heart telling you?”

“He’s my life, my home.  I’ve already lost a lot of years running away from things or battling ghosts.  I wish things were different,” she said sadly.

“What would you change?  Seriously Sara, what do you really want? “

“I don’t know.  I thought I had it all figured out or at least I was suppressing it well enough.  Seeing him again, talking to him seemed to confuse the issue.”  DB’s eyes lit up.  Now the pieces were coming together.  There must have been a confrontation that led to this.

“So he’s here and you talked?”  Sara nodded.  “Back to my previous question because everything hinges on that.  What do _you_ want?  I think I’ve gotten a feel for who you over the last couple of years and the conversations we’ve had.  You are not one to simply accept things.”

“You’ve never seen me around him.  He is the most exasperating man.  I get either tongue tied or I over talk like a bumbling idiot.”  DB chuckled.

“I simply can’t imagine you like that.”

“Believe me it is not pretty.  I just wish –“

“What?” DB asked encouraging her.

“I spent my whole life trying to find out who I am apart from being that kid from the dysfunctional family.  Apart from being a reckless overachiever.  Apart from –“

“Apart from being Grissom’s?”  Sara looked up with sad eyes.

“In a way, I guess that was part of the reason for coming back to Vegas solo.”

“Sara, you are a top notch investigator, a wonderful champion for victims, a beautiful soul and a good friend.  You have an essence that is beyond just being Gil Grissom’s wife.”  Sara nodded her head.  “Maybe you’ve spent too much time trying to be who you think he wants you to be and not who you want to be.”

“I’ve thought of that.  Cliché as it sounds I guess I’ve never been to me.  Gil and I, well we’re so connected that sometimes I can’t see where he ends and I begin.”

“That is a great place to be in any relationship, but you have to remember to take time out to be you.”  Sara mulled over what DB had said.

“You are a wise man Diebenkorn Russell.”

“I usually only let my wife get away with calling me that but I will make an exception for you.”

“Thank you so much for listening to me and for offering such sage advice.  Truly I am grateful.”  Sara leaned over and gave him a kiss on his cheek.  DB blushed slightly.

“Okay none of that.  They warned me about you,” DB kidded as they both got up off the couch. 

“Oh what did they say?” she asked as they walked to the door.

“Ferocious temper.”

“Check.”

“Object of a few crushes in the lab.”

“Check.”

“Loose canon.”

“Ah Ecklie.  Check.”

“Bucks authority.”

“Check.”

“Member of the mile high club,” DB said as they got to the door.  Sara tried to look away but her smile said it all.

“Check,” she whisphered.

“Likes older men,” DB said and then winked.

“Brass day dreaming again?”

“I cannot divulge my sources.”  DB opened the door.  Sara walked out and turned under the porch light.

“Thanks again.”  She waved and then turned to walk to her car. 

DB shut the door after he watched her drive down his street.  He went back to the couch and sat down.  It always made him feel good when his team thought enough about his opinion to come to him even if it was non work related.  It meant there was a bond, and in their line of work, that bond was almost mandatory.

He had meant every word when he told Sara that she was a beautiful soul.  From the beginning of his tenure there, Catherine had told him that Sara was a bit guarded.  He found that not to be the case.  Well it wasn’t the case after his constant badgering.  Part of him knew that for a long while she opened up to him simply because the longer she waited, the more annoyingly insistent he became.  It was a cheap psychological ploy but it worked.

Slowly they became close enough that she would talk to him without the prodding.  He felt honored by her trust for it was a prize worth working for.  Which brought him to thoughts of her husband, the elusive Gil Grissom.  DB had seen the man at a couple of conferences over the years but they were by no means acquainted.  He knew Grissom to be a respected criminalist and on a short list of renowned entomologists.  

Office gossip labeled him a bit of an enigma.  While Sara was sometimes guarded, Grissom was almost closed off from most of the people he worked with.  Catherine had been a longtime friend to him, yet there were so many things she didn’t know about him. 

Most of the conversation about Grissom revolved around his secret love affair with Sara.  The fact that no one at the lab knew about it for two years was amazing since they were all trained investigators.  While DB had understood about their need to maintain a low profile with respect to lab policies, he wondered why they had not told their friends about it.

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door.  Barbara Russell removed her coat and then came and sat by her husband.  “Is Sara okay?” she asked.

“Yes and no.  Her husband is in Vegas and there was a discussion,” he replied putting his arm around his wife.

“Discussion or confrontation?”

“I would lean towards a confrontation.  Sara seems so hurt and stunned by all of this.”

“I hope you were able to help,” Barbara replied sincerely.  She was proud of her husband’s keen insights.

“I do too honey.”

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Nick walked into the break room and went over to the coffee pot.  He grabbed his favorite mug and poured himself a full cup.  He took a sip and let the warm liquid slide down his throat.  He felt strangely relaxed at that moment until he heard the doors shut.  He closed his eyes and tried to wish himself anywhere but there.  He slowly turned around to find Sara already seated, looking quite comfortable.  She gave him a cheeky grin and said hello.  He responded in kind.  She motioned for him to join her at the table.  He wondered for a moment if he could get out the doors before she tackled him to the ground.  Or simply shot him.  He couldn’t read her mood to decide which one of those actions it could be.

“Nicky come sit down next to me so we can chat.”  Oh he didn’t like this.  She was acting strangely and that was not good for him, but he did as instructed.

“Look Sara I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I know that I should have been honest with you from the get go,” Nick said, trying to get it all out quickly.  Sara stopped him before he could continue.

“Do I give you the impression that I am angry with you?”

“Um..” was all he could think of to say.  He tried one of his cute overdone smiles but her facial expression remained stoic.  He felt the nerves throughout his whole body tense just waiting for her to say something, anything.  Finally after what seemed like an eternity she spoke.

“I’m not mad Nick.  I appreciate your chivalrous actions.”  Nick let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.  “But I think it would be better if I handled my relationship with Grissom from now on.”

“Fair enough.  Just as long as you don’t forget I am here for you.”  Sara smiled and nodded.  Nick asked if she wanted a coffee but she requested bottled water instead.  He went over to the refrigerator and got her one.  He returned to the table and sat down.  They both sipped on their beverages, enjoying the quietness before what they assumed would be a busy night.

They were not wrong as both their phones went off at the same time.  Both of their mouths dropped when they read the text coming through.  “Monorail derailment.  Four cars,” Nick said.

“Possibly hundreds of fatalities or injuries.  All hands on deck.”  Sara looked up at Nick.  They were motionless for a moment trying to soak in what they could potentially witness in the next hours and days. 

 

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Grissom turned over when he heard the alert from the police scanner next to his bed.  He didn’t know why he had turned it on since he rarely listened to it any longer.  But something told him to turn it on that night.  He heard the all hands on deck signal and he jumped out of bed.  Surely they would not turn down his services.  He quickly got dressed and placed a call to Ecklie, who assured him that his services were much appreciated and needed. 

Grissom had to park his car quite a distance from the Convention Center because of all the emergency personnel vehicles.  He sprinted through the ambulances and fire trucks searching for any familiar face.  He spotted Ecklie talking to a white haired gentleman and headed in their direction.

“Oh Gil, good that you could join us.  DB Russell this is Gil Grissom,” Ecklie said as both men extended out their hands.  “Gil asked if he could be of service since he’s in town.  I felt we could use all the qualified hands we could get.” 

“Glad to have you on this,” DB replied.  “Conrad has a command post set up on the north side.  I was about to go over there to brief the team.  Captain Brass who I’m sure you know and three members of the NTSB are already there.  Follow me and I will show you the way.”

Grissom followed behind DB.  He was looking around at the horrible scene in front of him.  He had seen a lot in his twenty plus career in criminalistics and not many things fazed him.  But he had been out of the game for close to five years and this was a brutal scene to witness.  He step inside a tent that had been roughly constructed for double duty as command post and initial triage center.  He walked over to Jim Brass and shook his hand.

“Gil, glad you’re here.  This is a mess.  I’ve never seen it so bad.  Something made that monorail jump the track.  All four cars were affected.  It’s like a war zone,” Brass said.  He quieted down when Ecklie and several others approached.

“Introductions,” Ecklie started.  “Captain Brass will be coordinating police and fire and rescue.  DB Russell will lead the crime scene investigators.  We have Gil Grissom here, a long time criminalist, who has gracious offered his services.  Because of the size of the accident, the NTSB is here represented by Elaine Williams, Jose Alvarez and Doug Wilson.”  Everyone nodded as their names were mentioned. 

“I don’t have to tell you how serious this is or how imperative it is that we all work together on this.  Thank you.”  Ecklie was called away by the fire chief. 

“Russell good to see you again.  Sorry it’s under these circumstances,” Doug Wilson said shaking DB’s hand.

“Agreed.  I called everyone from night shift in including the lab techs for processing and recovery.  I told them to assemble as much equipment as they could fit in their cars,” DB replied and pointed to the next tent where the team would be setting up.

“Good.  Right now police and fire are in rescue mode so we are in a holding pattern.  Let’s get the portable lab set up.”  Doug looked at Grissom and nodded.  The three men walked into the next tent where most of the team was busy setting up tables and placing equipment.  Grissom stopped when he saw Greg and Sara putting up a table at center mast.  He knew he should be focused on the task at hand but he couldn’t stop looking at her.  She was breathtaking in action.

“Hey Grissom can you give me a hand?”  Doug yelled out.  Sara turned around thinking she was dreaming when she heard his name called.  She turned and looked to see Gil Grissom, her husband helping Doug Wilson, a former lover set up a table. 

“Oh crap,” she mumbled to herself and then went back to her truck to retrieve the cases of bindles she had put in there.

 

TBC

 

 

 


	7. Chapter Seven

 

-7-

 

“Grissom’s here?  That’s got to be awkward,” Greg said helping Sara set up another table. 

“We pretended for two years we were not in a romantic relationship.  This shouldn’t be that difficult,” Sara replied shrugging her shoulders.

“How does Doug being here factor into your ability to pretend?” Greg asked smugly.

“No different from having to deal with Lady Doctor Heather.”  Greg conceded the point.

“You don’t seem shocked he’s here.”

“Found out a couple of days ago.  He’s staying with his mother.  I would guess he originally came to see her,” Sara said putting more boxes on the newly set up table.

“Don’t you think it’s odd that he would offer his services?”

“Not really Greg.  He might have left the lab but he didn’t forget what he knows about a crime scene.  He’s an asset here.  I bet Brass asked him to come.”  Sara walked back to her truck with Greg close behind.

“Still what are the odds that Doug would be here also?”  Sara set the box down and looked at Greg.

“Nana Olaf taught you well.”  Greg smiled.  “Okay to try to answer all the questions I know you are going to ask,” Sara said beginning to count them off with her fingers.  “No it’s not odd that Doug is here.  It’s not unusual for NTSB to investigate major accidents involving more than just airplanes.  Yes Grissom knows about Doug.  Yes it’s awkward having them both here.  Oh and yes you are beginning to really annoy me.”

“So Grissom knows that Doug was here last year?” Greg asked innocently.

“Dammit.  Okay he might not know that part,” Sara replied exasperated.  It wasn’t that she hid that purposely from Grissom, but it was during their missing each other’s phone calls and Grissom wanting to talk phase.

“Sorry.”  Greg watched Sara carry a box of swabs back to the tent.  He hadn’t meant to be annoying.  His curiosity often got the better of him.  He was taking the other boxes and loading them on a dolly when Grissom came up behind him.

“You need a hand Greg?”

“Grissom, great to see you,” Greg replied shaking his former boss’ hand.  “Yeah could you bring this dolly over to where Sara is?”  Grissom looked over at his wife and then to Greg.

“Yeah sure.”  Greg thanked him and went on to the next truck to unload. 

Grissom navigated the dolly over to Sara.  She pointed to where he should start stacking the boxes.  He nodded and went around the table.  He lifted the first box and set it across from her.  He started to unload another box of swabs and lined them up in the same pattern as Sara had done previously.  He kept looking up at her but she appeared to be concentrating on her work.  

“Why are you here Gil?” she finally asked.  He told her that he wanted to help out the team.  “The team?  You haven’t cared about the team for quite some time.” 

“I’ve always cared,” he replied hurt.

“That’s not what I meant.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything.  It’s just strange that you are here is all.”  Sara was still not looking up at Grissom.

“I thought my services could be of use,” he said and then paused.  “And I wanted to be with you.”  There he said it. Sara paused for just a moment to let what he said sink in.  There was something so familiar about his words.  Something in the tone that took her back to many other times when he would show up at a scene to help out and always equipped with a flimsy excuse.  But they both knew.  They seemed their best when they were working together.  _Maybe that was all they had_ Sara thought. 

Grissom couldn’t believe he was back working an active crime scene.  He couldn’t believe that he was working so close to Sara again.  He tried to push thoughts of how happy he was to be in such a close proximity to her from his mind.  He was not one to be so unfocused in a situation like this.  Even when they worked together and were apart from the rest of the team, he only allowed himself a quick glance at her or a brief thought of their personal life to filter through his mind.

But now Grissom just couldn’t help it.  Even though he was still furious with her for the things she had said to him recently, something felt so right to him.  Something he hadn’t felt in such a long time.  Was it just because there was not an air of hostility surrounding their being together?  Or was it the work – the thing that brought them together in the first place?

Grissom was about to say something when Doug Wilson came up, nodded to Grissom and asked Sara if she needed any help.  “No, I think we have it all under control,” she replied with a small smile.

“This is something isn’t it?” Doug asked looking around.  “They just lowered one of the cars onto the street.  Soon as they give the all clear I was going to do a walk through.  Care to join me?”

“Sure.”

“You know we’ve got to stop meeting under such horrendous conditions.”

“Part of the job.”

“True.  Grissom you need a hand with those boxes?”

“No thanks,” Grissom said with his teeth clenched.  Sure he had a couple of years on Doug but he could still pick up and carry boxes thank you very much. 

“Okay then,” Doug replied noticing a slight tone to Grissom’s words.  He shrugged it off and told Sara he would call her when he got the all clear.  She nodded without looking up. 

“So that’s the Doug you told me about?” Grissom asked opening up the next box.

“Yes.”

“That’s all you have to say?”  Sara looked wide eyed at him.

“What am I supposed to say?  Yes Gil I had an intimate relationship with the man that was just standing here two minutes ago,” she replied.  Grissom grimaced.  It was not what he wanted to hear by a long shot, and he felt bad for even asking the question.

“You’re right and I apologize.  It feels strange to be here and I guess it’s clouding my thoughts.”

“You were born to do this Gil.”  Grissom grinned at that.  It was one of the nicest things she had said to him in quite some time.  “You should have never left.”

“I left to be with you,” he replied not understanding.

“Considering how it all turned out, maybe you should have stayed.”  There was no condemnation in Sara’s words, only sadness. 

“No regrets,” he said.  Sara was about to say something when her phone chirped.

“Doug said it’s all clear.”  Sara picked up a small backpack she was going to use for the initial walk through.  She would bring her usual processing case later.   “Did you want to come along Gil?”

“No you go.  I will finish up here.”  Sara shrugged and walked towards the wreckage area.  Grissom followed her with his eyes for a moment then turned his attention back to the task at hand. 

An hour later, they had set up a well-stocked portable lab that would certainly aid in the sifting through of all the evidence.  Grissom went over to grab himself a cup of coffee while he waited for further word on when the other cars would be ready for a walk through.  He took a seat near the edge of the tent and out of the way.  He leaned back against one of the poles and closed his eyes.  His thoughts raced around him, but seemed to fall on a particular moment of his and Sara’s past.

_It was their last night in Costa Rica.  They had just finished helping clean up after dinner and had retired to their tent.  Sara was already lying down on the cot fanning her face and neck.  Grissom doused the light and took off his t shirt before lying down next to her.  He asked her if she was excited to be going back to the States._

_“I’m excited to be able to have a proper shower whenever I want,” she replied putting the fan down._

_“Air conditioning,” Grissom said dreamily and Sara moaned._

_“And getting married,” she said smiling._

_“So you’re okay with going to the Hunka Hunka Burning Love Wedding Chapel then?”  Sara smacked him in the arm._

_“What has gotten into you Gilbert?  You haven’t been yourself for weeks now.”_

_“I finally reunited with my heart and about to put a brand on it.  I don’t feel bogged down in paperwork.  There are a million stars in the sky I can stare at all night with you in my arms.  Any one of those would make a man change.”  He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.  They stared into each other which always expressed so much between them._

_“But seriously honey, are you happy with just getting married at the courthouse?  Because if you want a more traditional wedding, we can do that too.” Grissom finally said._

_“I don’t need all that.  Having your mom there is enough.”_

_“And you still don’t want to invite our mom?”  Sara shook her head no.  “Or the team?”_

_“I would love to have them there but then it starts to get complicated.  If it’s just the team, then what about Jim or Doc and David?  What about Hodges and Mandy and all the other lab techs?  Now we’re getting into a huge deal and I really don’t want to have to plan all that.”_

_“Fair enough,” Grissom said rolling onto his back.  He closed his eyes._

_“Hey Gil?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“I’m not going to change my last name.  Is that okay with you?”  Grissom opened one eye._

_“That’s fine, but I’m not changing mine to yours.”  Sara chuckled._

_“Aw you could be Gilbert Arthur Sidle. Your initials would be GAS.”_

_“Did you have too much wine at dinner?” he asked._

_“No I’m just naturally giddy at the moment if you don’t mind.”  Grissom smiled and went back to trying to sleep._

_“Gil?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“In the interest of full disclosure I have something to tell you.”  Grissom’s eyes opened again and he asked her what it was.  “When I was in San Francisco, I met up with an old friend of mine.”_

_“An old friend?” Grissom asked now turning on his side to face his soon to be wife. “What kind of old friend?  Someone like your fellow inductee into the Mile High Club or someone like Greg?”_

_“A bit of both.”_

_“Well if you just had dinner or drinks with him then it’s fine dear,” Grissom said trying to hide his hurt._

_“That’s all it was.  We met a couple of times for dinner.  I just wanted to mention it because he is a member of the NTSB and well you never know when paths could cross making things awkward.”_

_“I’m glad you told me.  So you had a relationship with this – what’s his name?”  Grissom was trying hard to be cool about this but he was a bit put off._

_“Doug Wilson.  I had done an investigation with him years ago when I was working in San Francisco.  You know how it is,” she said trailing off._

_“Yes I do.  All those long hours together can create some intimate moments.”_

_“You’re not upset with me are you?  I mean Doug is no different from when I was dating Hank or you and Lady Heather.  In fact Doug was before I met you,” Sara said repositioning herself on her back._

_“I never slept with Heather,” Grissom said empathically._

_“Okay if you say so,” she replied not buying it.  “But you’ve had meaningful relationships before me so you can understand.  I just didn’t want to you be blindsided if you ever met Doug.”_

_“I thank you for the consideration.”  Grissom leaned back.  “So how long did you spend with this Doug?”_

_“You really want to discuss all the lovers we’ve had?”_

_“All?  My God Sara how many have you had?”  Sara practically giggled._

_“Oh stop,” she replied grabbing his hand.  They both closed their eyes.  “It was more than two but less than one hundred,” Sara finally said, let go of his hand and turned over.  Grissom sat up in shock._

“Grissom!”  Nick yelled to bring Grissom back to the present.  “Sara and Doug have finished the walk through of the first car.  We’re all set to process.”

“Oh good.  Going stir crazy just sitting around,” Grissom replied getting up and stretching.

“Must be tough not running the show.”  Grissom shook his head no.

“All in the past Nick.”  Grissom checked his kit to make sure it was stocked well while Nick waited for him.

“Really glad you decided to join us Griss.  We could use all the help we can get.  Did Brass call you?”

“No, I heard it on my scanner and then called Ecklie.  Wanted to make sure I’d be welcomed,’ Grissom replied.  They walked over to the car and Grissom noticed that Doug was standing close to Sara as they were checking out one of the smashed windows.  A bout of jealousy filled Grissom’s heart.  Nick saw him stop and then looked over to where Sara was.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about Grissom.  If she was going to do something, she would have done it the last time he was here,” Nick said.

“The last time?”

 

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

 

-8-

 

Nick Stokes lagged behind Grissom as they approached Sara and Doug at the first monorail car site.  He was wondering if he would have enough time to call his parents, maybe write out a quick will before Sara murdered him.  His mouth was always getting him in trouble but he just wouldn’t learn.  His only hope was that Grissom would wait until a more appropriate time to make a comment to Sara.  Was fate that kind to Nick?  History would tell him a resounding no.

Grissom had just reaching the car when Sara was exiting and he held out a hand for her.  She took it without hesitation and gave him a quick Sara smile.  His heart almost skipped a bit.  He relished the sensation until Doug came out of the car and walked over to them.

“This first car did not show any signs of being tampered with or gave off any indication that it was the catalyst of the derailment,” Doug said to the group surrounding him.  As he was talking DB and Ecklie joined them.

“I talked to the engineer and it’s going to be another hour or so before the next car will be deemed safe to enter,”   Ecklie said.  They all looked up and watched as a large crane was trying to extract one car from the other while both were suspended in a gravity defying manner. 

“We could get started processing the first car for anything more probative,” Sara suggested.

“Good thinking Sara.  Why don’t you and Gil take the inside if you don’t mind,” DB said.  Both Sara and Grissom nodded. 

“I can check the undercarriage,” Nick offered.  DB nodded and then joined Ecklie as they walked back to the command post. 

Grissom had taken his kit and walked inside the car.  He went down the aisle to the farthest end and pulled out his Maglite.  He started combing every inch of the inner door and its frame.  Sara was about ready to go in when Nick stopped her saying he needed a word with her.  Doug had walked over to the civil engineer and was speaking with him about the next car’s eta when he saw Nick walk to the first car.  Nick did not look up and his head appeared to be pretty far down into his shoulders.  He crawled under the car as quick as he could.

Doug then noticed Sara storming up towards the car.  He jogged over to her to find out if she was okay.  Dagger eyes glared at him and he prudently took her aside to see what was wrong.  Sara kept her face away from Doug, willing herself to calm down and not rearrange Nick’s private parts.  Knowing her pretty well, Doug let her calm down enough so she could coherently tell him what was wrong. 

“You need a drink of water? Doug asked but Sara shook her head no. 

“Cup of coffee?” She shook her head again.

“Do I need to confiscate your gun?”  She paused for a moment and then shook her head no.  “Want to tell me what’s got you all steamed?”

“Murphy’s Law.”  Doug raised his eyebrows.  “You know the old adage that if anything could go wrong, it will.”

“I live that law but what does it have to do with why you are so pissed?” Doug asked truly concerned.

“It’s not enough that this is a horrible scene with so many dead or injured, but I have to have my soon to be ex-husband and a former lover here in some sick twisted ménage a trios.”  Doug looked at her surprised. 

“What’s this about a soon to be ex-husband?  You didn’t tell me.”

“Not something I wanted to broadcast Doug.”  Sara put her head down and folded her arms.

“When did this happen?” he asked.

“It was coming on for a while.  The signs started to become more and more apparent about the time of that plane crash here last year,” Sara replied keeping her head down.  Doug put his hand on her shoulder.

“So you lied to me then.  Telling me everything was fine when it wasn’t.  Oh Sara, I wish you had told me.”  He was massaging her shoulder now.  “I’m really sorry.”

“I know.”  They stood there in silence for a moment.  Doug let out a long sigh before he spoke.

“Sara I just want to tell you, to let you know that while I will always have feelings for you – will always remember our time together with fondness -  I just want to let you know, that I, I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize any reconciliation you may or may not be having with Grissom.”  Doug put his hand on her chin.  “I hope you know me better than that.”

“I do and I appreciate it.”  Sara looked up at him and gave a half smile.  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Grissom glance at her and then turn around.  Her facial expression turned instantly sad and Doug asked what was wrong.  She told him quickly how shaky she and Grissom’s relationship had been.  How that she thought for a moment earlier that they had made some kind of connection.  That even though Grissom had known about their past relationship, she didn’t tell him, or more precisely she didn’t get a chance to, tell him that Doug had been in Vegas. 

“He doesn’t think you cheated on him does he?”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking,” Sara replied.  “The reasons for the divorce are his and his alone.  I don’t know why exactly, but I don’t think this is going to help matters.”

“You know if you want, I can talk to Russell and have someone else process the car with Grissom.”  Sara shook her head.  She picked up her kit and put her hand on his arm.

“Thanks but sooner or later I’ve got to head into the lion’s den.”  Doug nodded and watched her walk towards the car.  She entered in the back way up two steps and stood at the opposite end of where Grissom was.  She asked him where he started and he motioned towards the other end of the car.  Sara said that she would start where she had come in and meet him in the middle.  He whispered “fine” with clenched teeth. 

Sara felt the best way to quench this particular monster in the room was to stick to the matter at hand.  She began to notate out loud what she did or did not see as she combed each window, sill and seat.  Grissom tried largely to ignore her but it was becoming harder to do so.

“Since when do you talk so much at a crime scene,” he asked.  Sara chose to ignore his question.

“You know this kind of reminds me about the rollercoaster accident we investigated a while back.  Remember that?  I think the coaster was called Pharaoh’s Temple.”

“Pharaoh’s Fever.” Grissom corrected her.  Silence filled the air until finally Grissom broke it.  “I doubt this is going to be about a missing or loosened screw.  Although jealousy can make a person do things that they would never do otherwise.”  Sara took in a deep breath.  She could feel it coming before it metaphorically hit her.

“It can also lead people to assumptions without evidence,” Sara replied.

“Credible sources and eyewitness accounts notwithstanding.”

“You always said that people could lie, therefore it was the evidence that had the credibility.”

“Sometimes you don’t have the bed sheets to check,” Grissom replied sarcastically.  Sara walked up to him and he backed away slightly.  She proceeded to shine her flashlight on the ground all around him.  He asked her what she was doing.

“Looking for your brain because you’ve obviously lost your mind.”

“Stop it Sara.”

“No you stop it Gil.  I don’t know what you are thinking but I will tell you two things.  One, I never cheated on you.  And two, this is not the time or the place for this type of discussion and you of all people should know that.”  Sara walked back to where she had been processing.  Grissom threw his Maglite into his kit and bent down to shut it.

“I don’t see anything probative on my end.  I’m going to go tell Russell and Ecklie,” he said brushing past her.  When he had left the car, she stomped her feet in frustration a couple of times and heard someone yell.  It was faint but she could hear it nonetheless.  She walked over to the door in the floor and opened it.   She peered down and saw Nick holding his head underneath.  She yelled a sorry to him and told him she had forgotten he was down there.  She got back up and completed her work.  She left the first car at the same time Nick was sliding out from underneath it.  She gave him a hand up.

“Thanks.”  Nick brushed off his pants and loaded up his gear.  Sara waited for them and they walked back together.

“I’m sure you heard,” Sara finally spoke.

“I tried not to but the acoustics underneath are pretty awesome.”

“I bet,” Sara said quietly.

“Sar, I’m really sorry about telling Grissom about Doug being here last year.  I wasn’t thinking.”

“You know Nick I don’t think it matters.  Grissom’s acting so strange.  I can’t figure him out anymore and I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stop trying.”  Nick felt the sadness echo in every word she had said. 

They walked back to the command post and informed DB that they hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary or that would cause that particular car to derail.  DB said that the next car was moments away from being lifted off the dangling track and placed about 300 yards away from the first car.  He told them that Grissom and Doug were over there already.  Nick shot a quick glance at Sara which did not go unnoticed by DB.  He told Nick to head out there, but asked Sara to stay a moment.

“I don’t want to be that kind of boss but I have no other choice.  Is there a problem with you working so closely with Grissom?  If there is, I will figure something out,” DB said.

“Appreciate it but it’s not necessary,” Sara replied anxious to be anywhere but having this conversation.  DB stared at her trying to read her.  “DB, I know it’s awkward but trust me, if I feel I cannot handle it you’ll be the first person I call.” 

“Good,” he replied and let her go. 

When Sara arrived at the second car, Nick and Grissom were already inside checking the structure.  Doug was examining the outside perimeter and nodded to her when he saw her walk up.  She stood outside looking at the car and as her eyes went upwards she noticed how close in proximity the car was to the piece of track that had almost collapsed. 

“We should have a look at the track,” she said.  Doug came over and stood beside her.

“After we get the cars freed and hauled away, they can start the process of breaking down the track.”

“It would be better to examine it as is,” Sara said walking around the car.  She noticed that the track could be gotten to if they were to stand on the top of car.  She found an outside ladder and started climbing up to the roof.  She carefully walked along until she got close to the track.  Doug was right behind her.

Nick and Grissom walked outside when they heard the noise on the roof.  Nick yelled up to Sara and asked what she was doing.  She yelled back that they were going to try to climb up the track. 

“I can see something sticking out between two of the ties on the left side of the track.  I can’t make out what it is,” she said.   She asked Doug to give her a boost. 

“Hang on a second Sara,” Doug said and then turned his attention to Nick.  “Look in my duffle bag over there.  I have a rope and some heavy duty gloves inside.”  Nick nodded and went to get the items.   He returned and threw the rope and gloves to Doug.  He watched as Doug tied the rope around Sara’s waist and then put on the gloves to give him a better grip.   He held his hands out and hoisted Sara up to where she could grab hold of one of the ties from the track and pull herself up farther.

“Grissom maybe you should stop her,” Nick said worried.  She wasn’t that far up but that didn’t mean that she still couldn’t get hurt.

“I’m not her supervisor anymore.  I can’t tell her what to do,” Grissom replied and went back into the car.  Nick shook his head and watched Sara climb closer to the midpoint of the track where she had seen something. 

Suddenly they could hear a large noise and the track swayed a bit.  Sara grabbed one of the ties and held on.  She waited for the track to stabilize and then continued.  She could see that there was some type of cloth embedded in between.  She was inches away when there was another loud noise and then the track shook.  Sara tried to hold on but she was knocked off balance.  She started to fall but luckily the rope stopped her from propelling too far down.  Unfortunately, she was caught on one of the ties and was now upside down.

Doug tried to reach her hand but she was too far up.  Nick yelled to him to climb up and untangle her.  “Don’t know if my weight will send this toppling down on all of us,” Doug replied. 

“How you doing up there Sara?”  Doug yelled to her.  She made an OK sign with her dangling hand. 

“I’m going to go get that crane to swing over and lift you off of that Sara.  Hang tight,” Nick said and ran as fast as he could.  Grissom had come out when he heard the initial noise but was so stunned that he couldn’t move or say anything.  All he could do was to look up at the love of his life as she started to close her eyes and lose consciousness.

The track started to sway again and Sara slipped down a bit further.  Doug tried to reach her hand but she was still too far up.  He looked over to where Nick had run off and saw that the crane was quite a distance away.  He wasn’t sure what to do.  He looked down and met Grissom’s eyes.  Grissom’s look went from Doug to Sara and then back to Doug.  The both men nodded at each other.  Doug turned back to the track and leapt onto it.  He kept perfectly still while it swayed violently against his weight.  When he thought it was safe, Doug started his assent to Sara.  Doug was almost to Sara when the track started to violently shake.  From the corner of his eye, Grissom could see platform swaying with the track. 

“Sara!”  he yelled right before the track and the platform came crashing down around him.

 

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

-9-

 

Nick watched the collapse from aside the crane as it made haste in trying to get to Sara as quickly as a large, heavy piece of machinery could.  He gasped when he saw Doug fall first and then Sara.  He caught a glimpse of Grissom diving underneath the car.  Then there was an incredible amount of smoke.

Those in the command post heard the collapse and began running towards the site as the smoke billowed up towards the heavens.  DB and Brass caught a ride with one of the EMT vehicles.  They were only mere minutes away but it had seemed like hours before they got close enough to jump out and get updates on whoever may or may not be inside.

Nick climbed down from the crane and ran over to DB and Brass.  The first thing DB wanted to know was who might be in that mess.  What other events might have transpired that aided in the track collapsing were far from DB’s thoughts.  Nick told him that Sara, Grissom and Doug were in or around the car and track before the collapse.  DB gave one of his classic shakes of his head and whispered _damn_ under his breath.  Ecklie, who had been with the mayor, drove up and immediately went to DB and Brass.  They conferred as to what was the best scenario to get to Sara and the guys. 

“I don’t need to tell you that digging for Sidle, Grissom and whatshisname could compromise the initial investigation,” Ecklie said matter-of-factly.

“Doug,” Brass chimed in.  Ecklie looked at him questioning.  “Doug is whatshisname.”  Ecklie went to reply but DB cut him off.

“Look of course our first concern is getting the people out safely.  If we set up an area where we can take the pieces of concrete and wire and spread it out, we might be able to preserve some of the integrity of the original scene.  It’s worth a shot.”

“We can do a bucket brigade from the rescue workers to CSI and NTSB personnel,” Nick suggested.  DB nodded and told Nick to round the people up.  As Nick ran off, DB looked up and motioned to Brass and Ecklie.

“What bothers me is that third monorail car is now precariously perched directly over where they are buried.  If that collapses, we could lose the lives of the rescue workers and most certainly the people below.”

“You’re right.  We need to secure that car.  Have everyone on standby but far enough away.  I will get them to secure that car.  Move it safely away,” Ecklie said before sprinting towards his car.

**CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI**

 

Grissom picked his head up and tried to get his bearings.  He was lying on his stomach.  There didn’t appear to be anything directly on him, but when he went to lift up his buttocks, he came in contact with something.  He also felt that his right foot was stuck, yet it was not hurting.  He could move his hands around so tried to feel for his flashlight to be able to further assess the situation.  Luckily he didn’t have to reach too far to find it. 

He lifted up and leaned on his elbows.  If he didn’t raise his head too high, he didn’t come in contact with anything.  The flashlight popped on after a small tap and Grissom shined it around.  He was pretty solidly entombed.  With his foot stuck, he wasn’t sure he could maneuver himself over to lie on his back. 

He gave a tug on his foot and was able to free it from the cement by removing it from his shoe.  He carefully turned over, hitting the cement beam with his hip and causing some dust to fly about.  He stopped to let things settle and then continued his movement.  He rested a moment and then shined the light up above him.  He could see one or two tiny pockets that he wondered if he could poke the flashlight into them to create a possible way to escape.

Knowing that lack of oxygen was also a concern, Grissom tried not to move too much.  He rested his head back down and tried some breathing techniques he had read about.  Finding himself more relaxed, his mind drifted.  He had figured that Doug was above him somewhere and that Sara was probably above Doug, if not with him in the same vicinity. 

A small grin came to his lips as he started to think about her.  Choosing not to remind himself of the possibilities of their current predicament, he chose a more memorable vision to occupy his time.

_The case was haunting.  For him, for Sara – heck the usually unflappable Jim Brass appeared affected.  He could sense that she was trying to maintain throughout the whole investigation.  Such a trooper he had thought.  Only when Adam Trent had grabbed her and he stared in her helpless eyes, did Grissom finally get it._

_There was no life worth living without Sara._

_The following night they both had off and Grissom decided that it was now or never.  He planned it all out.  He would swing by her place with some Chinese food and a movie under the auspice that he wanted to check up on her.  He would tell her that he wouldn’t be a good friend if he let her be alone after such a trauma.  The dinner and movie would be a good icebreaker that would lead into the real reason he was there – to tell her how much she meant to him._

_The night was going as planned.  She was grateful that he had stopped by.  Grateful that he had brought dinner since she didn’t feel up to making anything for herself and embarrassingly had nothing but crackers to eat.  And grateful that he brought a movie which signaled to her that he wasn’t going to eat and run._

_“The Big Chill?” she asked while reading the back cover._

_“Yeah I had mentioned it when you..um..when you know and you didn’t appear to have seen it.  I thought you could better understand if you could view the reference in context.”  Sara smiled and put the DVD in the player.  She sat down next to him on the couch._

_“Glare on the TV when you sit in the chair,” Sara explained.  Grissom nodded and leaned back.  Sara grimaced a little when the movie started out with a funeral, but she didn’t say anything.  Grissom glanced over at her when she grabbed a throw blanket and wrapped her legs and feet in it._

_After they watched the conversation between Jeff Goldblum and Tom Berenger’s characters, Grissom rehashed the notion of rationalizations being more important than sex as the rest of the movie played._

_Sara was having a difficult time keeping up with the plot of the movie for two reasons.  One because she was in such close proximity to Grissom, and the other being that he seemed to be overly chatty. She felt as if she was watching a tennis match going between the TV and Grissom._

_“So what did you think?” Grissom asked when it was over._

_“The music was wonderful.  Love that whole genre of Motown.  I felt bad for Sam and Karen,” Sara replied._

_“Oh I don’t know.  Sometimes it’s not about the passion but the circumstances.”_

_“What are you doing here Grissom?”  Damn, she’s blunt.  Grissom turned his head slightly away from her so she couldn’t see his eyes darting back and forth trying to come up with something to say._

_“I was checking up on you,” he finally replied trying to stick to his original plan._

_“You could have called.  You certainly didn’t have to bring over dinner and a movie no less.”  She leaned closer and put her hand on his arm.  “Either I’m having an irrational thought or there is an ulterior motive to you being here.”  He turned and looked in her eyes.  There was no use resisting it any longer.  As he was about to lean over, she was quicker and got to his lips first._

_He couldn’t say there were fireworks or bells or whistles, but there sure was something that was exchanged in that kiss.  He had never felt anything like it before.  They broke apart and her eyes would not meet his.  He wanted to see them.  He put his hand to her chin and raised it so she had to look at him.  He saw raw emotion, passion, love and yes fear.  He wasn’t dreaming for she had felt it too._

_He kissed her again softly and then motioned for her to come closer.  And closer.  Until she was sitting on his lap.  He held her tightly then and soaked in the scent of Sara’s hair and skin.  He knew he could get lost in there._

_Sara had held unto him and ran her fingers through his hair.  She had always known that kissing Grissom would be like no other.  There was such passion, such electricity between them that connecting had to be dynamic.   But she knew with Grissom, she had to be careful.  He could be life or death to her._

_“Griss,” she said.  He moaned a bit still nuzzled in the crick of her neck.  “Are you sure about this?”  He leaned back to look into her eyes._

_“Honey, I know I fought it for so long but-.”  She shushed him with her lips.  They didn’t need to rationalize it, analyze it, or beat it to death with a stick.  They just needed to feel it.  And when laid her down on her bed and gave her his heart, words no longer mattered._

Grissom jerked his eyes opened.  He could hear a voice.  It was faint, but he could make out a couple of words.  Crane – move.  He felt the earth below him shake a bit and for the first time that night, he was frightened.

 

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Doug put his hand to his head.  He felt something sticky on his fingers.  He applied some pressure.  He used his other hand to try to reach his back pocket and his cell phone.  He didn’t think he would get a signal, but the flash from the camcorder would provide much needed light.  He was able to reach his phone and hit the button to lighten up the screen.  He tapped the camcorder button and then the flash.  The bright light made his head hurt.  He tried to ignore the pain and moved the phone around slowly, surveying the area.  He heard a slight moan and quickly turned the flash in its direction.  He saw Sara leaning up against the far wall of rubble towards his left.  He put the light directly on her and she groaned.

“Sara, are you okay?” he asked as he tried to roll over so he could crawl to her.  She seemed to be in the widest open space.  He was having a tough time negotiating his 6’2” frame around, but he was determined to get to her.  “Hang on Sara, I’m coming to you.”

“My head hurts,” she said.

“How’s the rest of you?”

“Not sure.  Everything is a little fuzzy right now Doug.  What happened?”  Doug continued his efforts to reach her. 

“The track shook and you fell.  After that it’s all pretty much a blur.  I know Nick went to get a crane to help you,” he said as he reached her extended leg.  The other one was tucked under her.  “We were waiting for him to return, but then the platform started to give way.  We made the decision for me to try to reach you.”

“We?” she asked as he came and sat next to her.  He was breathing heavily from the exertion and the thinning air.   He shone the light to her face and head and then felt with his fingers for any seeping blood.  Confident that she wasn’t bleeding, he leaned back next to her.

“Yeah me and Grissom.  He looked so scared.  Probably the same expression I had on my face.”

“Grissom?  Where is he?”

“I don’t know.  The last I saw as I was falling was his diving for cover.”  Doug let out a deep sigh.

“What if he’s underneath us?  Oh my God, Doug what if he’s crushed?”  Doug moved her forward so he could put his arm around her.

“You have to try to keep yourself calm babe, okay?  Lean back into me.” 

“You used to always call me babe,” Sara said closing her eyes.  Doug nodded and closed his too.  He remembered.

_“Babe, could you hand me that wrench?”  Doug asked while underneath the truck._

_“What did you call me?” she asked bending down to hand it to him.  Doug slid out from underneath._

_“Sara.  I called you Sara.”  He tried to take the wrench from her but she put it behind her back._

_“Didn’t sound like Sara to me.”_

_“Then maybe you need to get your hearing checked.  Can I have the wrench please?”  She relented and gave him his tool.  He rolled back underneath the truck and proceeded to remove the oil plug._

_“You know when I agreed to help you work on your truck during one of my few nights off, I wasn’t expecting dinner to be from a can and chauvinistic terms of endearment thrown at me,” Sara replied sitting down on a crate near the truck.  Doug slid back out from underneath the truck.  He sat up and wiped his brow._

_“I took the stew out of the can and warmed it up,” Doug said proud of himself.  Sara chuckled._

_“You’re one horse short of being the Galloping Gourmet.”_

_“You’re really not that funny babe,” Doug replied emphasizing the term of endearment.  He got up and threw the wrench into his toolbox.  He then squatting down in front of Sara saying, “but you’re a brilliant investigator with a gorgeous smile and beautiful eyes.”  He leaned in and kissed her._

_“And you’re very charming Doug Wilson,” Sara replied as she wrapped her arms around him._

Doug snapped out of his dreamlike state when he heard the movement around him.  He looked over to Sara who was leaning her head on his shoulder. 

“Sara?  Sara, hey!  I think the cavalry is coming for us.  Sara do you hear me?”  Doug asked shaking her.  She didn’t respond at first, but then slowly stirred.  Doug could see light shining through the right corner of where they were.  He called to whoever was digging.

“Are you okay?” the voice said.

“I’m fine but I think there’s something wrong with Sara.”

“Hang on.  We’ll have you out in a few minutes,” the voice ordered.  Doug put his head down and thanked God.  He gave Sara a squeeze and told her they were going to be alright.

“Grissom.  Doug, please find him.  Promise me,” she said going in and out of consciousness.

“I promise Sara.”

 

TBC

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

-10-

 

Doug lifted up Sara and gave her to the rescue workers telling them to watch her head.  Once they got her safely off the pile, one of the workers told Doug to give him his hand.  Doug refused saying there was another man down and that he had to find him.  The worker insisted that they could find whoever wasn’t accounted for and that it was in Doug’s best interest to get out and have his injuries assessed.  When Doug still refused, the rescue worker called down to those on the ground and apprised them of the situation.  Nick took it upon himself to climb up and talk to Doug.

“Doug man you need to come out of there and let the professionals sift through this mess.”

“I have to find him,” Doug replied starting to move the debris around with his hands.

“Seriously Doug, your head is covered in blood and you need attending,” Nick said strongly.  Doug leaned back on his shoes and looked up.

“You don’t understand.  I promised her I would find him.”

“I know man but let us do it.”

“Nick sorry to do this,” Doug said sighing.  “But in situations like this as a high ranking officer of the NTSB, I’m going to pull rank and tell you to hand over a shovel, a pick, heavy duty flashlight and a pair of gloves stat.”  Nick saw the look in his eyes and decided it was best not to argue with Doug’s determination.  He got the materials that were asked for and handed them down to Doug.

“Be careful,” Nick said as he handed over the flashlight.

“Probably be a good idea to not rock the boat too much top side. “

“By all accounts Grissom should be somewhere towards your left unless he got tossed,” Nick said.

“Yeah I’m going to start in this spot here.”  Nick asked him why he seemed so sure of that spot.  “Because Sara kept caressing this spot with her hand like she knew Grissom was there.”  Nick nodded and watched for a moment before climbing back down.

Doug started pecking away at the dirt slowly but methodically.  He made an opening enough so he could shine his light down.  He saw a pocket of opened space and wondered how much farther down Grissom was.  He yelled down the hole to see if Grissom could hear him.  There was no response.

Doug continued making a hole large enough so that he could climb down onto the next level.  It was painstaking work, but Doug was energized by the promise he made Sara.  Once he got down a level, Doug repeated the same steps as he had done previously and made a hole big enough to shine a light down.  He once again yelled to Grissom.

Grissom had been drifting in and out for a while.  He wasn’t sure if it was because of some internal injury or due to lack of oxygen.  He thought he heard voices again and opened his eyes.  He lifted his head up slightly and saw a light coming down near his feet.  He then heard his name being called.  He tried to speak but his voice was raspy at first.  He then cleared his throat and called out to the voice.

“I hear you Grissom.   Move away from the light if you can so I don’t drop concrete on you.”  Grissom moved his feet as far away from the light as he could. 

“Who are you?” Grissom asked.

“It’s Doug Wilson.”

“Sara?”

“She’s with the medical team now.  I think she’s okay.  Got knocked on the head I think.”

“She’s got a hard head,” Grissom whispered.  Doug chuckled.

“Okay I think I maneuver myself down to you now.  Let me just WOAH –“

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Nick and Brass rode with Sara to the command post to get her checked out further.  The EMTs wanted her to go to the emergency room but she was emphatic about wanting to stay on scene until both Grissom and Doug were safe. 

They left the draped area while the nurses and doctor attended to Sara.  Brass poured two coffees and handed one to Nick. 

“It’s mud but it’s hot,” Brass said.  Nick thanked him.  “What’s troubling you Nicky?”

“I couldn’t do it.” 

“Do what?” Brass asked.

“I couldn’t go down the rabbit hole and rescue Grissom for Sara.”

“Nick, you’ve been encased in the rabbit hole.  Something like that doesn’t go away – ever.  You think I don’t sometimes flinch when I hear a backfire or a gunshot?”

“Thanks Jim.  I just wouldn’t want to let her down you know?”

“I do and she does.” 

The doctor came out a few minutes later and told them that Sara was fine and only had a slight concussion.  He attributed her blacking out to the stress of the situation, but said that he would have a nurse check on her periodically just in case.  Both men thanked the doctor.

“I’m going to stay with her.  Why don’t you go back and see what is going on.  Report back to me and I will tell Sara what I think she should know,” Brass more than suggested.  Nick nodded and headed back to the truck.

Brass went and pulled up a stool beside Sara’s cot.  The doctor had urged her to lie down and she had to admit that it helped the throbbing in her head.  Brass took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze.  She turned to him and smiled.

“So they tell me you were training for your new career as a Cirque Du Soleil performer.”

“I’m in no mood for a lecture Jim.”

“You’re not?  I’ve been working on a doozy,” he said with a glint in his eye.  “Seriously Sara, are you okay?”

“My head hurts like hell but everything else is functioning okay so they tell me.  I’m worried about Grissom.  Who knows what injuries he has or even there is enough oxygen.”

“Now the first thing you are going to do is calm down.  Secondly Doug is working his way to find Grissom.”

“Doug?” Sara asked confused.

“Yeah apparently you made him promise to find Grissom for you and he wouldn’t let anyone else down there,” Brass replied.

“Oh,” Sara said a little ashamed of herself.

“What is it about you Sidle?  You have some kind of mojo working for you.  Drives men crazy.  Makes them do things.  Grissom, Doug – even poor Nicky thinks he let you down because he didn’t go after Grissom himself.”  Sara looked sadly at Brass.

“I would never expect Nick to go under a pile of rubble like that, not after what he went through.”

“That’s what I told him,” Bras replied and then heard his phone beep.  He hit the button and said his name.  Sara watched his face turn serious and she became alarmed.

“What’s going on?” she asked as soon as he ended the call.

“Good news is that Doug found Grissom alive and coherent,” Brass said and then stopped.

“Bad news Jim,” Sara demanded.

“There was another collapse.”

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“What the hell was that?”  Doug asked sitting partially up and shaking dirt and dust out of his hair.  He tried to look around for the flashlight but he couldn’t feel it.  “Grissom?  GRISSOM?”

“Stop yelling.  I’m right here.”

“Where?” Doug asked feeling around again.

“Judging by how close your voice sound, not too far away.  OUCH!”

“Sorry.  What did I kick?” Doug asked.  If it was under another set of circumstances, he might have found this funny.

“My shoulder.  I think I found the flashlight.”  Grissom felt for the button and turned it on.  He shined it around and they both followed the light.  “Looks like the ground gave in.”

“Lucky it didn’t swallow us up.  Appears the concrete acted as sort of a shield.  Amazing,” Doug said.

“A miracle,” Grissom replied.  He was able to sit up and slink over to the wall of dirt perpendicular to Doug.   “You okay?  You’re bleeding.”  Doug felt his head and then looked down at his fingers.

“From the first fall,” he lied.  “You alright?”

“Sore,” Grissom stated. He put the flashlight down but let the light illuminate the ceiling.  He leaned his head back and sighed.

“Sara was really scared for you,” Doug said after a while.

“Oh yeah?” was Grissom’s only reply.  Doug looked over at him shocked.

“Why do you seem to hate her so much?”

 

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“Sara I think it’s best if you just stayed here.  Nick will call us with any news,”   Brass said watching Sara put on her jacket and boots.

“Surely you don’t expect me to sit here while my husband is out there.”

“No I guess I don’t.  I’ll drive,” Brass said relenting.  They got into the truck and headed over to the scene.  They were stopped a good distance away and met by DB. 

“Sara, now before you go running off to dig through the dirt yourself, let me explain some things to you,” DB said as Sara got out of the truck.  She looked around and wondered why everyone seemed to be standing still.  DB told her that the ground appeared to have given way underneath the monorail car.  Because of the likelihood of it being a sinkhole, assessments had to be made for the safety of all involved. 

“We believe that Doug and Grissom are underground now.  We need to carefully remove all the debris above ground first.  We can’t get too close until we are sure that the ground will not further sink.  This is for the safety of all – above and below ground.  Do you understand Sara?”

“Yes, sorry I understand,” she replied sadly.  She walked over to where the yellow tape had been draped and stood there.   Brass came up behind her and put his arms around her.

“Believe in miracles Sara,” he said holding her tight.

“I’m trying Jim.  But the older I get, the more I’ve seen, the less I believe in them,” she said sadly.

“I know. Hey did I ever tell you the time I caught Grissom at Victoria Secrets?” 

“No, when was that?” she asked then said, “it better have been for me.”  Brass laughed.

“Oh it was for you.  That was when I first had my suspicions about you two.”  Sara turned her head to eye Brass.  He continued on with his story.

“It was just Christmas Eve and I had been wandering the mall looking for some last minute gifts.  I saw someone who looked suspiciously like Grissom in that particular store looking at some red lace teddies if I remember correctly.”  Sara’s eyes lit up in remembrance of a particularly beautiful teddy Grissom had gotten her for their second Christmas together as a couple.

“Stop remembering the night he gave it to you and focus on my story,” Brass said kiddingly.  Sara blushed.  “I stood outside the store window and watched this brilliant scientist examine this lace teddy and the rest of its ensemble with the same look as one examining an important piece of evidence.  It was starting to spook the saleswoman a bit too.  She was a pretty blonde girl.  Long legs and a pair -”

“Jim focus,” Sara said.  Brass cleared his throat and continued.

“I walked over to her and explained that he was a crime scene investigator conducting an experiment on the durability of lace when used in strangulation.”

“She bought that?”

“Of course,” Brass said as if there would be any doubt.  “I called out Grissom’s name and he dropped the garter he was holding and tried to turn around nonchalantly.  Unfortunately, the sleeve of his jacket caught on the straps of the belt and flung it into one of those half mannequins that sat on top of the display case.”

“Oh he must have been mortified,” Sara said half laughing and half feeling embarrassed for Grissom.

“Yeah he got one of his classic dopey looks on his face.  I, of course, had to throw a bunch of questions at him.”

“Of course,” Sara said knowing the man still with his arms around her.

“He wouldn’t tell me who the purchase was for but I knew.  I think inherently we all did.  I never understood why you both hid it,” Brass reflected.

“Departmental policy Jim.”

“A man of Grissom’s status could have easily circumvented such an asinine policy.”  Sara put her head down.  She had wondered herself why he seemed to want to keep their relationship under wraps.  Sure she was a private person, but she never felt the need to hide things as he did.  She turned and looked at Brass.

“Do you think he was embarrassed by me?” she asked sincerely.  Brass shook his head.

“Don’t be ridiculous.  It’s Grissom we’re talking about here.  He gets these weird ideas in his head.  Probably didn’t want to seem partial to you.  Didn’t want the razzing he’d get from the guys.  Grissom just wasn’t made for certain types of social norms if you will.”  Sara smiled and then turned back to look at the cranes making their way carefully throw the debris and dirt.

“I can’t lose him Jim.  Not like this.” Brass put his arms back around her.  He understood.

**CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI**

Grissom repositioned himself.  He was sore, tired and one of the last people he wanted to be stuck with in that hellhole, just asked him a question that he really wanted to bean him off his head with one of the nearby rocks for. 

“That is the most absurd question I have ever been asked.  Did she tell you that I hate her?” he finally asked.

“Sara would never say something bad about you.  Just not her style.”

“You seem to know her pretty well,” Grissom said snidely.

“Green eyed monster at two o’clock,” Doug replied.  Grissom shot him a dirty look.

“Do we have to talk?”

“The way I see it we may not get out of here.  Confession is good for the soul,” Doug replied leaning his head back.  “Time for redemption Grissom.”

“Okay have it your way,” Grissom breathed out.  “Why do you care so much for _my_ wife?”

 

 

TBC


	11. Chapter Eleven

A/N:  This is the final chapter (sniff)  but the story will include an epilogue just to tie up the loose ends per se.  Thanks again for your support.  God bless you all.

 

-11-

 

“Oh you think I’m going to confess some type of ulterior motive concerning Sara?”  Doug asked.

“I don’t know.  Are you?” Grissom countered.

“No.” Doug chuckled.  “Believe me if I wanted to start things up again with your wife, I certainly wouldn’t be down here trying to save your ass.”

“You might be trying to make sure I don’t come out of this alive,” Grissom said and then instantly regretted it.  What was wrong with him?  He was not acting rationally at all.  Maybe he hadn’t been for quite some time.  “I apologize.  I’m not up on Sara’s day to day life lately, so I don’t know the status of your relationship with her.”

“Because you’re an idiot,” Doug said nonchalantly.

“Why does everyone think I’m an idiot?”

“Seriously?”  Doug asked thinking now the man sitting there was even denser than he originally suspected.  “You have his wonderful woman who adores you, and for God only knows what reason, you throw her away.” 

“I didn’t throw her away,” Grissom said emphatically.  “I went after her.  I wanted her to be with me.  But she keeps leaving me and taking another piece of my heart with her every time she goes.”  Grissom tried to calm himself down.  “I couldn’t.  I can’t keep letting her leave.  Not knowing if she’d find someone else out there.  Someone more suited to her.”  Grissom put his head down then.  Doug nodded.  He was starting to piece together Grissom’s dilemma.  It wasn’t just jealousy that fueled him, but the feeling that he was somehow not man enough for Sara.  Feeling bad, Doug felt he needed to explain his and Sara’s relationship.

“We are not having an affair if that’s what you’re thinking.  There was a plane crash last year on the Strip and I was assigned to investigate it.  I knew she was married to you, but I had also heard that you were not around all the time.”  Doug paused for a minute thinking back about that case and the reconstruction they did.  “Would love to say my intentions were 100% honorable but I would be lying.”

“I appreciate your honesty.”

“I could sense she was sad.  We’ve always had this kind of connection you know?”  Grissom nodded.  There was a time when he thought he and Sara had one too.  Where it went Grissom was beginning to wonder.  “We had some good times, but I just wasn’t who she wanted to share her life with.”

“You seem less emotionally stunted than I am.  Maybe you would have been a better choice,” Grissom said sadly.

“Nah, I was always too emotionally immature for her.  Besides she met someone else and I just knew that I couldn’t compete.”  Doug turned away.  He doubted Grissom could see the single tear that slid down his cheek but nevertheless he didn’t want to show how affected he was.  He too understood what it was like to lose such a wonderful woman.

They sat in silence for a while.  They could hear noises coming from up top and could only surmise that rescue efforts were being made slowly but surely.  Grissom thought about all the times he didn’t let on how he felt, and how many times Sara had let it slide.  He was so happy to have found someone who didn’t judge him or try to change him.  She accepted all his quirks, and maybe he felt that he didn’t need to be any different for her because of that.

“So who did Sara meet?” Grissom finally asked. 

“You,” Doug replied.  Grissom looked at him surprised.

“We were never intimate back then in San Francisco.”

“Oh I believe that you didn’t have sex, but intimacy and sex don’t necessarily go hand in hand,” Doug replied.  “About a month or so after she went to that conference, she came to my house and told me that she couldn’t see me anymore.”

“Did she give you a reason why?”

“I didn’t ask,” Doug replied.  “That’s the thing about Sara.  She’ll tell you the truth.  Be blunt as hell – if you ask.  I guess I didn’t want to know.”

“I feel like I should apologize to you for this,” Grissom said.  “Not sure that I am sorry though.”

“I wouldn’t be if I took Sara away from you.”  Grissom nodded and they both fell silent.  So many thoughts started swirling in Grissom’s head.  Maybe he really was an idiot.  Who or what gave him the right to decide who Sara deserved to be with?  Wasn’t it not her choice?  Maybe he needed to throw out all those irrational thoughts that clouded his judgment, and accept what God has graciously allowed him to have.

Grissom closed his eyes after a while. Time passed.  How long Grissom didn’t know.  He called out to Doug at one point, but Doug didn’t answer. 

 

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Cranes were brought in to carefully take the concrete and dirt from above where the ground had sunk in.  DB and Nick paced nervously while Brass maintained his hold on Sara.  She appeared to be holding up pretty well, but Brass felt that she would break if he let go.  Maybe it was his way of quelling his own anxiety.

No one said it but there wasn’t much hope that either Grissom or Doug was still alive.  In deference though to Sara, no one was willing to stop the recovery effort until they were sure.  Once the rubble was carted away, teams of men attached to safety wires, started the task of digging around the location where they had assumed the men had fallen in. 

As they dug deeper and deeper, they started to hit more and more concrete.  This made the task more arduous, but still they prevailed.  Nick and Greg had joined in the effort in the second half hour to give a couple of guys a break. 

“Nick, check this out,” Greg yelled.  Nick moved over and saw a pocket form in the dirt where Greg was digging.  They looked at each other and started to dig in that spot until they hit a concrete slab.  They dropped to their knees and pushed the dirt with their hands.  Both looked shocked when they saw a glimmer of light seep through.  They followed along the edge of the concrete and dug alongside it.

“Grissom!  Doug!”  Nick yelled.  Nick continued to yell their names as they dug.   Greg shushed him for a moment and told him to listen.

“I can hear someone,” Greg yelled jubilantly.  Nick signaled to DB who got on the phone and radioed Ecklie who was standing next to Brass and Sara.  Brass had to hold Sara back from running on to the scene.  She wanted to see Grissom.  She had to see Grissom.  But Brass told her to wait.

Nick and Greg accompanied by two other workers were able to make a pocket big enough so that someone could jump down and assist Grissom and Doug in getting out.  Nick looked at Greg and told him that he couldn’t do it.  Greg smiled and touched Nick’s shoulder letting him know that it was alright. 

Greg climbed down and saw Grissom first.  He looked dirty but amazingly unhurt.  “Do you need help getting up Griss?”

“Just stiff Greg.  Hey Doug you need help?  Doug?”  Grissom got on his knees and tapped Doug’s leg.  Doug did not respond.  “Greg, check his pulse.”  Greg went over to his neck and felt a weak one.  He shook Doug but there was no response.

“There’s blood on his head but it appears to be dry.  I don’t see anything else – wait.  Grissom there appears to be a somewhat fresh gash on the back of his scalp.”  Grissom moved over to take a look at it.

“He’s in shock.  Greg, go tell them to get a stretcher.  Then you and I are going to pick him up and hand him up top,” Grissom said ripping a piece of his shirt to tie around Doug’s head.  “Damn fool.”

“What was that Grissom?”  Greg asked as he came back and stood on the other side of Doug.

“Nothing.  Ready?” he asked as the both grabbed under Doug’s arms.  Grissom counted to three and then they lifted him up.  His height and the fact that he was dead weight, was forcing them to drag him over to the opening.  Once they got there, two rescue workers grabbed Doug and lifted him up and onto the awaiting stretcher.  Nick then leaned over to take Grissom’s hand and assist him.  Greg helped hoist him up and then climbed up himself.

Sara and Brass were now standing at the awaiting ambulance.  She watched the stretcher come near her and at first was unaware of who it was.  She focused her eyes and realized that it was Doug.  She looked back over to the pile of rubble and noticed Nick and Greg helping Grissom down.  She let out a deep breath of relief knowing that he was able to walk out on his own.

Once Grissom was on solid ground, he shook hands with both Nick and Greg, and then looked around for the one face he was desperate to see.  A couple of EMTs then stepped to the left of his vision and there she was.  She was looking straight at him with a beaming smile – a smile that would melt even the Grinch’s heart.  Though he was exhausted and dirty, he found the strength to sprint to her and take her in his arms.

“I thought I lost you forever,” Sara said crying into Grissom’s shoulder.

“Only an idiot would let you go.”

 

**CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI CSICSICSI**

 

“How is he?” Grissom asked as Sara came back into the ER room.

“Awake.  Telling me his concussion is way better than mine.  Hitting on a nurse.  So normal,” Sara replied pulling up chair.  Grissom was lying back with his head propped up.  He seemed to have no injuries internal or otherwise, but the doctor wanted him to stay in the ER for a little while longer just to be safe.

“He seems like a good guy.  Honest.”

“Yes he is,” Sara replied hesitantly.  She didn’t want to talk about Doug, and while it might not be the best time, she needed to know about the state of their relationship.  So many emotions had gone through her over the last couple of days that she needed closure one way or another.

“Sara –“ Grissom said at the same time as she said his name.  She stopped and put her head down fearing the worst.  “There are some things I need to tell you.”  _Uh oh_ Sara thought.

“We don’t have to talk now.  You get better and in a couple of days we can hash things out.  Decide what we both want.”

“Stop doing that,” Grissom said strongly.  Sara looked up at him confused.  “Stop letting me off the hook.  Stop making things easier on me.  Why do you do that?”

“I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do when you love someone,” she replied looking away.

“I don’t want you to do that anymore.  You shouldn’t have to put up with my crap any more than I should have to put up with yours.”

“What crap do I give you?” she asked a bit upset. 

“Why don’t you ever tell _me_ what you really want? Why does everyone else know?  I know I’m daft at times, but the more I thought about it when I was underground, the more I realized that you don’t tell me.”

“You don’t ask,” she defended. 

“Point taken,” he replied remembering what Doug had said.  “Tell me now.  What would make you happy?”  Sara thought for a moment.  She then tried to turn the tables and ask him what he wanted.  “Oh no, you first.”

“Well,” she started as she got up and started to pace.  “I don’t want a divorce that’s for sure.  I don’t know why you thought it would be a good idea in the first place.”

“We will get to me after you finish answering my question.”  Sara let out a deep sigh.  Somehow she wasn’t sure that any answer she gave would be the right one.  She thought for a moment about their relationship.  How she seemed to gravitate towards his wants more so than her own.   She thought it was because they were so connected that they seemed to want the same things.  But, maybe they didn’t.  Nevertheless it appeared to be the time to honestly put all her cards on the table, and see if she could come up with a winning hand.

“Alright.  Alright, as I said I don’t want a divorce for the obvious reason that I am still in love with you.  The other things are first of all I want a home base.  My home will always be in your arms, but I want a physical building with walls and windows.”

“Doors too or are they optional?” he asked.  Sara rolled her eyes.

“I want to continue to work in Vegas as a CSI.  It’s the only thing I know I’m good at.  I understand that you are doing very important work all over the world and I support that but I hate that you tend to make unilateral decisions without discussing them with me.  You get so wrapped up in whatever bug you’re examining that you forget that your actions affect my life also.” 

“Anything else?”  Grissom asked.  Sara paused and then shook her head no.  “Why don’t you sit down, please.”  Sara obliged.  The silence was maddening and Sara felt the urge to fill it with something.

“Look Gil, I know that I probably shouldn’t have sprung that all on you.”  Grissom shushed her.

“I asked you to so don’t feel bad.”  She shrugged her shoulders.

“Can you tell me what you want?”

“You,” he said simply.  Sara stared at him in disbelief.  “The last couple of days I’ve been living Ebenezer Scrooge’s life.  Going back over the past, present, and looking into the future.  I learned some things along the way through the help of some friends.”  Sara smiled.

“I thought if I said that I wanted you to be happy then I was doing my job as your husband.  But they were just words.   I assumed that because I went after you that everything was okay.  I didn’t have to work at being a good husband.  I made the sacrifice and that was that.”

“I said I got why you had to go back to Vegas and while I pretended to be supportive, inside I saw it as kind of a betrayal.  You sounded so happy.  Happier than you had been in a long while.”

“I was happy being married to you,” Sara interjected.

“At the time I didn’t see it.  The more I felt that you were happier without me, the more I stayed away until it snowballed out of control.”

“So you thought you’d make me happy by divorcing me?” Sara said with little emotion.

“Silly as it sounds yes that was the general reason.”

“Gil, I think there is something you should know before we go any further.  After we had the divorce talk, I was feeling so hurt and so lost that I went out and, and,” Sara couldn’t finish.  Grissom reached for her hand.  She just couldn’t give it to him.  “I’m so sorry Gil.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“No.”

“Was it Doug?”  He asked.

“No.  It was actually someone I met at a bar.”  Sara put her head down.  “It was just a couple of kisses, and the guy showed up at my birthday dinner.  Only that was a setup courtesy of Basderic.”  She gave him the Reader’s Digest version of what she went through with Basderic.  When she was finished, she leaned back in the chair and hoped for the best.

“Sara, give me your hand,” Grissom said and waited for her to shakily give it to him.  “I don’t know how I feel about what you just told me, but I do know there are more important things to say.”  Sara looked at him hopefully.  “I knew from the moment I saw you all those years ago that we would be ever connected.  Not to make this sound risqué in any way, but you are my greatest rollercoaster ride.  You have both thrilled and terrified me.  I just have to stop being so resistant to some of the larger dips and turns that life throws us.  Learn to ride them out with you together.”

“Oh God Gil I just love you so much,” Sara said resting her cheek on his hand.

“I love you too sweetheart.  I know that we have more to talk about, but we have a lifetime to do that.”

 

 

Epilogue to follow…

 

 

 


	12. Epilogue

A/N:  All things must come to an end.  Thank you for coming along for this ride.  God bless you all!

 

-Epilogue-

 

“We are gathered today to witness the reaffirmation of Gil and Sara’s wedding vows.  The original marriage was only witnessed by Gil’s mother.  This time they wanted their families and friends to celebrate with them.  They have written declarations to each other.  Sara has requested to go first.”  The justice motioned to Sara.  She took Grissom’s hands.

“Gil Grissom, I have never loved anyone the way I have loved you.  I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else the way I love you.  Over the last fifteen years of our lives together, you have inspired me, fought me, challenged me, and cherished me.  In your arms, I am truly home.”

“Whatever road we walk down from now on, know that I will never be happier than when I am with you.  To be near you, to love you was always my greatest dream and is now my greatest joy.  I am yours.  Forever.”

The justice turned, looked at Grissom and nodded.

“Sara Sidle, the moment I met you, you captured my heart.  Your eyes, your smile, your amazing intellect.  You are the only woman I have ever loved and the only woman I will ever love.  In your arms is the only place I will ever want to be.  There I know I am home.”

“I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that I want to face it with you.  By my side, my lover, my friend.   I am yours.  Forever.”

Grissom and Sara kissed while the audience clapped.  They proceeded to walk from under the canopy as their guests threw rose petals. 

The courtyard at Cupid’s Kiss was set up for the reception.  It was a small affair done as a buffet.  The food was a wide variety of cuisine to accommodate everyone’s taste buds.

When the meal was over, Jim Brass stood and tapped his glass.  Everyone turned to listen to him.  “I am honored to be here to celebrate the re-union of Gil and Sara.  I won’t mention the profound anguish I felt at not being able to do this at the _real_ wedding, but I guess we all have to be thankful that we have today.”

“And we do have a lot to be thankful for.  Thankful that we are all here now – new friends and old ones – sharing in the celebration of Gil and Sara’s love.”

“I would like you all to raise your glasses and toast Gil and Sara.   Never forget what you mean to each other and you will never forget happiness.”   Brass lifted his glass as did the rest of the guests.  Sara stood up and grabbed Brass for a long and cherished hug.  Grissom turned around to watch, and then gently pulled Brass away kiddingly.  Sara and Brass sat down but Grissom stood standing.

“I would like to say a few words of gratitude for those who are here today.  Thank you both to my mother and to Sara’s mother for being here.  Thanks to members of my old team and Sara’s new team for attending.  Many thanks to Catherine Willows for taking the time out from her busy FBI schedule to attend.  And to all our other friends and colleagues, I know I can speak for Sara as to how happy we both are that you are here with us today.”  Grissom raised his glass to their guests and everyone took another sip of champagne.

After dessert was served, most people started to disburse into smaller groups while others bid happiness to the couple and left.  Catherine came over and sat next to Sara.  She gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she looked.

“Thank you, and thank you for coming cross country,” Sara said.  “We’ve both missed you.”

“I’ve missed you all as well.  I met Finn.  She seems very nice.  Not me of course, but who is,” Catherine said smiling.

“No one that’s for sure,” Sara replied.  Sara happened to look to her right and Catherine’s eyes followed.

“Who’s that sitting with Gil over there?” Catherine asked.

“Doug Wilson, NTSB.  He was very instrumental in saving Gil.”

“Oh your ex-lover,” Catherine exclaimed.  Sara shook her head and made a silent promise to hurt whoever told Catherine that.

“Yes Cath, Doug and I were involved.”

“He’s dreamy.”

“He’s available,” Sara replied.  Catherine smiled but told her no.  She said she was currently seeing a fellow agent and that it looked promising.  Sara told Catherine she was happy for her.  They sipped their champagne and chatted about their work.  Their attention was drawn back to Grissom as he got up, shook Doug’s hand and walked over to them.

“So what do you two talk about?”

“Catherine you have not changed a bit,” Grissom replied.  They both smiled.  Grissom then turned to Sara.  “I was just thanking him again for helping me to see the error of my ways.” Sara smiled and grabbed Grissom’s hand.  She felt so loved at that moment that she didn’t think anything could ruin her mood.

“You know who I’m surprised is not here,” Catherine said looking around.  Grissom put his head down and waited for it.  Sara smirked – nope nothing could spoil her mood.

“Yeah I meant to whip up an invitation to her,” Sara said making the gesture.  “Forgot for some reason.  Oh I think I was slaving over a hot stove cooking dinner.” 

“Clever Sara,” Catherine said raising her glass.  “So what are you two going to do now?”

“Sara wants to continue working with the team,” Grissom said proudly.

“What about you Gil?  Ever think about going back to crime scene investigation?”

“Not really.  I’ve been offered the position of establishing a sound entomology department at UNLV so that will keep me busy and in Vegas,” Grissom replied.  “But if there is a case they need me on, I would make myself available.”  He looked lovingly at his wife.

“Yes!”  Sara exclaimed and then leaned over to kiss her husband.

 

 

The End…


End file.
